„First of all, my best friend is black…“

"I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX."

I just got back from the doctor...you're gunna want to get tested...

"You'll be destroyed in the battle of the marketplace of ideas!!!"

“…if you look at the pre-plague statistics…”

"So... I can bring another guy, right?"

That wasn't silent...

That's NOT how Bitcoin works. Listen-

I just shat my pants.

"No, the Dreamworks face looks more like"

"lube up first honey."

"The Children of Asuryan haven't received any new models since the 90s, y'know..."

"What? They always hold it when I pee"

"Uh, I don't know how to say this, but [4th-wall-breaking spoiler]"

"Hisss... Even I wouldn't eat that!"

"Did you just fart?"

“I can’t eat ice cream.”

Ratchet when Clank makes a bad pun.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, “That’s a hell of an act. What do you call it?”*

And the father says, “The Aristocrats!”*

“Do you have anything gluten free?”