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It's good that he's been able to find help, it's good that he's advocating for more help. But let's be real. For most of us in the here and now, we're better off hiding it.
Being honest about mental illness is a great way to get fired or never work again. Especially if you can't afford or don't have access to help.
If anyone has tips for disguising long gaps on a cv, that would be genuinely helpful.
If anyone has tips for disguising long gaps on a cv, that would be genuinely helpful.
Long COVID
Taking care of a sick relative
Helping with a completely made up company that your sibling made that they unceremoniously gave up on before launch
Especially now in the USA where every job application asks if you're disabled; listing anxiety and depression as disabilities. HR would never use that against anyone... I refuse to identify on my applications, but I don't know if that's a black mark against me. It makes me more anxious and depressed.
If anyone has tips for disguising long gaps on a cv, that would be genuinely helpful.
Failed start up.
If it times right, you worked at circuit city or bed bath and beyond or another defunct company. There's no company to verify this with.
Oh wow, somehow I missed the news that Bed Bath and Beyond had gone bankrupt.
CV tips.
Just lie. They rarely if ever check.
Also, you don’t have to go that far back so just put recent experience. If they ask then you can provide more information.
As for the lying, you can just extend how long you actually worked there. Or you could have a family member say you worked for them. They no longer have the business. Same for friends etc.
As a person who has done a lot of interviewing don't lie. Good chance you'll give yourself away and come across as dishonest. Do say something basically true but without detail and that is something the interviewer can't follow up on. Examples:
"I had some savings built up and I took some time off to travel/hike/paint." If you want to embellish: "I'm really thankful I had that opportunity and I'm looking forward to this next step/building my career/opportunity/blah blah".
"I needed to take some time off to care for a family member." (You're a family member, right?)
etc. Make it something personal that they shouldn't follow up on. As an interviewer I want to know your experience and you should come across as honest. I don't want to know your personal life. If someone asks follow up questions about the sick family member you really want to avoid working there.
Personally I rarely ask about gaps, but some recruiters and interviewers will just do that to check the box.
So be honest but don't share personal stuff.
Some good advice and appreciate adding another point of view.
I will say, subjective as it may be, that I had a lot of success when I was younger, admittedly not for great jobs.
I do know for a fact that Apple in the UK do not check references, I like to think it’s their arrogance thinking nobody is telling us anything.
I also believe (not sure though) that, at least in the UK, you can’t really give a bad reference as you’d better be on point or you’re subject to litigation so they tend to just confirm dates.
The craziest thing I did was when I’d been at a shit job for around four months they were hounding me for a reference and so I gave them the number to a burner and gave myself a reference.
Also is a great way to watch all your friends disappear.
Fucking magical.
Just put self employed or flat out lie.
This is terrible advice. Just terrible. And largely untrue. I had over a decade gap in my cv and claimed it was due to "running my own business". When I got a good job it had infrastructure to support mental health and my life made me ashamed to ask for help. Luckily, I've had managers who aren't ashamed to ask if I need help and I've had opportunities to get support. More importantly, I had three relationships where I didn't ask for help because I was ashamed and it took a very special person to tell me to seek therapy that turned a lot of my shame around.
You're operating on shame. Regardless of how you feel about seeking help, please at least recognise that and do what you can to be open about your feelings and sense of self.
You are lucky to have a company that supports you.
When I was honest about mental health issues and took doctor mandated mental health leave, I was fired for unrelated reasons, but told to my face that it was because I had been to honest. This was at a fortune 500 company.
Now imagine what it's like for someone working construction or a low level job. This is the reality for many many people. Hell, people were fired for not turning up to work with covid. There are literal laws in the US which prohibit companies firing people with cancer. They'd do that too if they could get away with it.
Be glad that it isn't your reality, be angry that it still happens and act/vote accordingly, but do not discount the very real experiences of those less fortunate. Reflect on your privileged position and realise your experience is not universal.
Lie. Say they gave you an NDA. They lie all the time and make it so that your job description could fit any position they need you to fill when that person is out or they layoff people. Just lie. Fuck ‘em.
Yeah. I tried talking about once with my grandma because I had been failing college courses after my mom lied about vitamin pills and forced me to take them, (they were prozac) and it fucked with my brain chemistry so bad I couldn't eat or sleep and the world felt like a dream where anything outside a small bubble simply didn't exist to my brain. Like I could see it but my brain would not acknowledge it's existence. The exact words I got back from her were "What such bullshit!" in a very angry tone.
I haven't even been able to think about mentioning anything related to my anxiety and depression since then to anybody I know irl because I'm afraid of that response again. There's a really bad social stigma in the states about only weak minded people have mental disorders and we can't get the help we desperately need. It's especially worse if you're a male because then you're not real man in the eyes of your peers. It makes trying to function at work nearly impossible, it makes trying to go out and do basic errands difficult, it makes keeping social relationships difficult. I've lost count of the friends I've lost contact with because all I want to do is just sit in a dark quiet room by myself most days. The isolation is crushing. I have a friend that keeps trying to get me to "come back" as it were and I'm trying, I really am but I struggle to find the energy to do so and I don't know what to do anymore at 36 years old. Life gets just a little shitter every day and I already feel like I'm well beyond my breaking point and the only think keeping me going is fear of being homeless.
Start your own personal business. Doesn't matter what you do, and whether you do anything at all.
Works great as a cover for whatever the fuck you've been doing during that time period. Gives a bit of flexibility regarding the storytelling about your own experience and roles as well.
He's very privileged to have access to the care he has access to. My experience has been more like hearing the stuff his parents said to him, but from doctors. You're so dramatic. You can't possibly feel that bad, you look fine. You're just lazy.
I'm very fortunate in that my parents mostly took my mental health issues seriously. We should all be so lucky. Where I was told I was exaggerating was pain from the dentist.
As an adult, my dentist told me that people with reddish hair (in my beard, not my mop) are less susceptible to Novocaine. She jacks me up with more than the standard dose and I'm fine. Teenaged me suffered badly at the hands of dentists.
But, getting back to the original topic, a specific mental illness seems to run in my family. I'm not the only one, so getting recognition has been more of a "I have the same experience." I can't imagine if I was the first and had parents who considered it alien.
We need to treat mental illness with compassion. Thank goodness I didn't live during the era where it was expected that someone just toughen up and suppress their feelings or "be a man" about it.
Huh. I have (or had, it's mostly grey now) red hair in my beard despite having so dark brown that it's almost black hair on my head. I wonder if that's why novocaine never seemed to work on me. I got two wisdom teeth taken out under gas and novocaine and I felt it. I don't know why the dentist didn't stop because I know I was struggling and not keeping my mouth open.
I got in a rabbit hole of his blog articles and my word, this poor guy really had it bad his whole life. I'm glad he's better now.
Wow, I kinda feel bad for mocking his Wesley Crusher now, I wonder how much the near universal hate for that character has affected him.
I'm a huge star trek fan and had a major crush on Wesley Crusher when I was a kid in the 90s. I honestly had no idea his character was universally hated. Wesley is wonderful. Reading his blog made me so sad, he hated acting so much.. https://wilwheaton.net/2022/05/yes-i-was-forced-to-be-a-child-star-it-was-never-my-dream-or-my-idea/
From another one of his posts:
“Hey!” He shouts at the bouncer. “What’s the problem? Don’t you know who I am?”
The bouncer rolls half a million eyes at once. “We know exactly who you are.”
This has big Hitchhiker's Guide energy and I love it.
I hated Wesley as a kid, for most of the reasons Wil has detailed in various places over the years, and also did not like Wil because of the association.
That changed after reading some of his posts from the early 00s. I'd gone specifically to laugh at him for being a failure and came away a big fan of his.
I credit Wil's blog for helping me grow as a human. I got his books as well. Very good reads all of them.
Thanks for sharing that.
He's not universally hated, I'm not sure he's even majorly hated, but those haters are loud AF
He's talked about it affecting him negatively before.
Given the horror stories that come from even some of the best child actors, I'm wondering when the tech will reach the point that child figures in shows/movies can be played through filters/fx on an older actor.
I caught the first episode of Table Top when it launched. It was so amazing that I went out and bought my first board game. And started a weekly game night that I've kept going ever since. I now have somewhere around 200 board games.
I used that game night to work on cooking challenges. Feed the people and they show.
Because of that show and it's impact on my life I am now the Executive Chef at my hospital. I still run games every weekend. There was a butterfly effect started by that show that impacted my life and now the lives of everyone I feed. And everyone I introduce to board games.
You might struggle with self worth. But to me, a guy in Montana that you've never met, you're the most influential and inspiring person I know of. Fyi.
Wil, your candid and earnest discussion of mental health has been refreshing, uplifting, and honestly incredibly helpful while dealing with my own mental health
Keep on keeping on, homie
I wish him well.
Thank hunamity for medicine lol.
Seriously. My anxiety meds are the best thing I've ever taken.
Boy's looking healthy on that photo in the blog post. Congrats to him!
He looks quite a lot like Jonathan Frakes when he was playing Commander Riker.
I don't have neither anxiety nor depression as own disorders. But I have ADHD, and it can bring home and rise anxiety and depression as honorary subdisorders. I have ASD too. And I know what anxiety is, because I had it while I wasn't diagnosed.
I speak from my own point of view, from an European country, so don't take this advice blindly. Wil is right, there is no need to be ashamed about telling what you suffer. People can be mean to you, but that's not your problem. That's theirs. Fortunately, society in my country is removing its blindfold regarding mental illnesses, thanks to other celebrities with mental illnesses, some politicians, and some media outlets.
Thank you for sharing. Anyone who says "you cannot feel" however is patently wrong. We all feel how we feel, and don't need to justify those feeling to anyone. I grew up watching TNG, and Wesley has always been an inspiration to me. Especially seen in retrospect, that show, and it lessons, were very formative for who I am now. No matter how many blessings one has in this life, the world as it is can grind you down. You aren't alone in your struggle.
MDMA treatment is almost there. I look forward to it.
Wil is awesome and he makes one of the best Imperial Stout beers out there: Stone w00tstout, try it!
Depression and Anxiety, the tag team champions of the World Wrestling - could not have put it better myself
This man did Serial Apeist 2, he has no shame. /s
