I'm emotionally in a bad place from years of emotional abuse (as a child and an adult). I struggle with ADHD, major depression, and anxiety. I'm unemployed and desperate for a career change. My marriage is in the shitter and I have no friends or family to lean on for anything. I'm all alone....
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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Hold tight
There's no easy recipe for any of those things. But try to do things that make you happy. Music is my go to, bit there's little tiny things everywhere if you take the time to slow and appreciate it.
If you're into social media like most people (I'm not, besides Lenny) is being a creator instead of consumer. Try finding some joy in making a Tik Tok, and stay away from it's feed. That's how I'm trying to teach my son social media, because it's a creative process instead of addiction.
A calvacade of concerns:
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Black Sheep - I'm the black sheep of the family for various reasons too numerous to get I into here. But suffice to say I have effectively zero contact with most of my immediate family except for my parents. My parents keep trying to force me into fitting into their own view of things, whether it be religion, antivax, etc which has put strain on the relationship when I refuse to fit their mold for me.
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Forgotten - I'm forgotten by any friends/family that I do still have contact with. They rarely, if ever, reach out on their own initiative. I rarely reach out partly because I'm busy with my own stuff and simply don't remember to do so, partly because I'm tired of always initiating, and partly because I don't see the point, as I've been burned too many times before and it likely won't last anyway.
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Money - I have significant debt that I'm years away from paying off with my current budget, both due to necessary expenditures and not so necessary ones. I'm also significantly behind on my retirement savings, especially if I want to have anywhere near my current income when I retire, if I can ever afford to. Add day to day expenses and couple that with both a desire to still occasionally frivolously spend money and a strong loathing of being in debt and you have a recipe for significant stress all on its own.
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Covid - I'm one of those people who has enough health concerns that I want to play it extremely safe when it comes to potentially contracting the virus. This has put a serious damper on trying to go out and meet new people.
Frankly I think its a minor miracle that I've managed to hold it together as well as I have.
Adult life is full of must do s and little time for want to do s. From the sound of it you're looking for healthier better connections. It's not easy to do group hobbies but many people seem to suggest that.
Btw what are your interests?
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I have a selection of social anxieties. Many of them revolve around me being let down so many times by people or groups I thought I belonged in. Any time I find some cool group, this feeling creeps up, letting me know "aw shit, here we go again". I'm sure the failures are a self fulfilling prophecy at this point. I suppose the solution would be to ignore all the warning signs and get used to people being genuinely nice (and then walking into the minefield as I ignore the warning signs. And the purgatory restarts).
Every day I go to work, come gome, sleep, etc. That's not the issue. The issue is that every day, I fear for my kids and family. I sit and wonder what of their future? Pollution and climate change is in our face and no government entity is doing a thing about it. No corporation is budging. It was over 50F in January where it should be below zero. Should I get a survival kit? Would it help? Do I need something to grab and go? How can I teach my kids survival skills in the wild when I have no experience myself? Where will we go? How will we get clean water and food when the system shuts down? What will we eat when we are rationing fresh water and the crops are dying due to heat and sun baking?
I think people should worry about all those things, but I also think if you read the media it's like there will be mass deaths everywhere within 5 years which is far from truth.
We as a civilization shouldn't sit and do nothing for serious matters that will happen beyond ones lifetime.
Dealing with my father's disability, poverty, living under dictatorship... You know, just the usual things. I just want people to be more compassionate, I think.
People that I love who I want to keep in my life are proving incapable of accepting who I am.
I have a lot of other friends and family, so I'm not without people to talk to, but it's pretty hard to have your spouse and parents and priest so tell you that you need to get mental help and figure out what's real, after you've been getting help and are on the road to accepting yourself...
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Society being bigoted, predujiced and caring more about money than people
Society has to change and go along a utopian path to make it better