this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 81 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Looks like a knotted string of butt hairs connected across the diameter of the anus, splitting the turd in twain. At some point the pressure of the bowel movement overstressed the butt hair bridge, snapping it and allowing the remainder of the shit to come out as one.

[–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 32 points 9 months ago

The fact that you used the word twain while talking about what happened during a shit is amazing. Superb. No notes.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure I agree, the diameter of the trunk isn't significantly different from the diameter of the branches. If it were split, the branches should be half as wide.

I think what happened is that the beginning of the turd was the top of the trunk, and it broke where the end of the lower-right branch is. You can see that it broke at an angle. Then the remaining part came out and that angled bit is where the left branch attaches to the trunk. I think it landed there in it's soft/warm state and merged together at that point. You can see that the color of the top of the left branch is the same as the end of the right branch, then transitions to lighter.

And that's as much turd analysis as I want to do today.

[–] VelvetGentleman@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

The simplest explanation is that someone merged them together by hand in order to take a picture of it.

[–] Rootiest@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Take my upvote you filthy animal

[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Found the butthole/shit expert

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 23 points 9 months ago

Now we're shitposting

[–] DanglingFury@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

It's not a waffle stomp. It's a noodle press

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

In this episode of Ceedoestrees: Poop Detective!

Seriously though, that's some impressive reasoning!

[–] distantsounds@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 9 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Artemis, dat u?

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] Shieldtoad@sh.itjust.works 50 points 9 months ago (2 children)

My dog laid this dick shaped turd in 2018

[–] SonnyVabitch@lemmy.world 33 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Saved to favourites, did you?

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Saved the turd for later, too

[–] TseseJuer@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

it's the circleeee of lifeee

[–] PRUSSIA_x86@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

as one does

[–] Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Amazing, and you kept it in your photos until just the right time.

Future archeologists are going to have a field day with all our leftover photos.

[–] ook_the_librarian@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

It makes you wonder what else is on the camera roll and which shitposts will unlock its secrets.

[–] midori@lemmy.world 44 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] GombeenSysadmin@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Now this is shitposting!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 42 points 9 months ago

You know... maybe putting a camera with a near-infinite capacity for free photos in everyone's pocket a was bad idea...

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 6 points 9 months ago

Two shits laid on top of each other fused

[–] minibyte@sh.itjust.works 29 points 9 months ago

It’s not possible to upvote and downvote at the same time. That’s frustrating.

[–] ook_the_librarian@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I believe this caused when two dogs poop "lady and the tramp" style.

[–] lars@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 9 months ago
[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

This is bringing back memories of not only finding the same thing, but also of the turd that I found in my front flower box one February that was full of cables.

I present that turd to you now.

[–] SpraynardKruger@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

The forbidden noodles

[–] lars@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ beurk. And is that an undigested pill.

[–] lars@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 9 months ago

…and an adjacent chicken wing

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's the lucky turd. You're supposed to eat it for good luck.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No dont eat it! You're supposed to break it in half like a wishbone.

[–] ralakus@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

And then eat it

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago

Passing that must have been a real pain in the ass...

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago
[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Holy fuck. Please. Please. Please but the NSFW filter on this. I was eating and I almost gagged.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Oh I have two buttholes. That was mine.

[–] johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Miles "Tails" Prower was here

[–] AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

When you come to the fork in the road, take it.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

The elusive petrified rabbit(tm) personal massager. Some ancient astronaut theorists believe such technology was beyond what humanity was capable of at the time. The question is: who gave the technology to our ancestors?