this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
1344 points (99.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26896 readers
2070 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 87 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Computers are powered by magic smoke.
When the smoke escapes, the computer doesn't work anymore.
Also, the earth isn't flat.
EARTH HAS 4 CORNER
SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY
TIME CUBE

[–] flicker@kbin.social 14 points 11 months ago

It has been so, so long since I last saw the Time Cube. Thank you.

[–] pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

If a Man cannot tear a page
from the marshmallow and burn it -
then he cannot be a scientist

so true 😔

[–] Railing5132@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What in the schizophrenia word salad did I just read?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Jorgelino@lemmy.ml 73 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Programmer here. Can confirm. Coding is just a list of instructions we send to the tiny people inside so they know what to do.

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 45 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Electrical Engineer here. Electrons are people too! Very tiny, quantum people, with very tiny, quantum hopes, and very tiny, quantum dreams!

Science cannot disprove this.

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

I hear electrons are really flaky. You tell them to show up at a specific place and time, and you just never know. Always getting involved in one entanglement or another.

[–] Mamertine@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's frustrating because they're so literal when following instructions. I wish they'd do what I want, not what I said.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

The trick is to say what you mean ☝🤓

[–] EatYouWell@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

That really isn't a bad metaphor for how the computer processes code.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They don't always listen, though.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

That's why I'm constantly shoving cookies into the case. So the computer gnomes are happy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ElderWendigo@sh.itjust.works 62 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I say that computers work because we tricked some rocks into thinking by carving special runes into them.

[–] Saltblue@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's not that magic doesn't exist, it's just that our current spells and rituals are rudimentary.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

I’d say it’s that the information on how it works is out there and not secret. If I want to turn lead into gold that knowledge is available to me, I just need access to a nuclear reactor and to learn a fuck ton of stuff.

Also the fact that it’s all very math dependent doesn’t help. The “when will I use this” subject is the biggest prerequisite to magic

[–] nugmeister64@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

funnily far more true than many might believe

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] negativenull@startrek.website 45 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The smoke that comes out of computers sometimes is caused by the little people getting pissed off and lighting little fires out of protest.

[–] match@pawb.social 24 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Oh no! The tiny people in the computer are French

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Haha what? There are no small people in computers, what are you talking about?

sweats

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago

Found the small person.

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 31 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Education and wisdom are two separate stats, this guy didn't roll very high on Wis.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

In the U.S., education is mostly about being able to regurgitate what you've been told. Wisdom is, as you suggested, not necessary for that.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] EatYouWell@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Who wants to bet he's just a Helpdesk tech and has no idea what an actual computer engineer is?

[–] Mamertine@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm a data engineer and I have no idea what a computer engineer is.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago

I am a tool and die maker and I affirm that heart attacks are caused by tiny, airborne sharks that sound exactly like Steven Crowder on helium. When you breathe them in they go to your heart and literally attack it.

[–] SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip 23 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I’m just a medical student, but as a computer engineer can’t he just hack into the mainframe and reveal that the earth is flat?

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

You can just dig all the way down to bedrock, right? Should be easy if you kill all the creeps and spiders

[–] satans_crackpipe@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

That would require multiple monitors and rave music.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

Do the little people have pointy hats?

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Get him! Get the geologist and silence him! He's unveiled the truth and now they'll take our tiny people away from us!

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Probably working for Big Geology and the mainstream media!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago
[–] jank1@links.hackliberty.org 14 points 11 months ago

the response fits perfectly 👌

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 13 points 11 months ago (3 children)

No, computers work because there are very tiny rocks inside that vibrate when connected to electricity.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Don't bring your so-called science mumbo-jumbo around here!

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 10 points 11 months ago

I trapped lightning in a rock, and taught it to do math.

Computers are arcane wizardry.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Inside every computer there's a little person

A very wholesome and talented person

And he loves you

This is his song

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] victorz@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

At least he used "affirm" rather than "confirm".

[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Reach inside your computer to discover the shocking truth...

load more comments
view more: next ›