this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 45 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

the sheer longevity of some xkcd comic in-jokes is really impressive.

edit: this one is over 15 years old (xkcd 327 - 'Exploits of a Mom' - 10/10/2007)

[–] vrek@programming.dev 23 points 11 months ago

All I'm going to say is I still remember "correcthorsebatterrystaple"....

[–] isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 11 months ago

my spin of it

[–] MightyGalhupo@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

15 years already?

[–] vrek@programming.dev 32 points 11 months ago (4 children)

This actually gave me an idea. Over break I wanted to practice dB design and entity framework. Designing a database and interface for santa to track kids naughty or nice could be a fun/interesting way of doing it.

[–] magikmw@lemm.ee 13 points 11 months ago

Good way to get yourself on an FBI tracker too.

Just FYI, LinqPad is a really neat tool for messing around with EFCore. I use it all the time for testing ideas or doing quick tasks that I don't want to spin up a new project for.

[–] AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But is naught/nice a binary value?

[–] vrek@programming.dev 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think you would have a table of "activities" with a value of how good/bad each is. So like cleaning your room would be +5 but crying in a store because mommy wouldn't buy you a toy would be - 15. Then you have a table for children and each child starts with 0 in January and then for each activity the child does there naughty/nice value gers adjusted. December 24 Santa runs a query on the dB and gets a list of every child with a positive value.

Keep in mind I currently feel sick and put about 5 minutes of thought into thus.

[–] vrek@programming.dev 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Actually I think there should be a intermediary table as a history of activities of each child. Like child table is I'd, name, age, address, and naughty/nice value, activities would be Id, description, and good/bad value. Then a history table of ID, child_id, activity_id. So santa can recalculate a child's naughty/nice value to "check it twice"

[–] AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Redundancy is key. There should always be two methods for calculating a child's ANNS (Aggregate Naughty Nice Score). I propose a conventional method where activities are graded from -5 to +5 where a child's ANNS is the sum of all their previous activities, this would be a child's historical ANNS. And I propose a second system where only the activities performed within the last 365 days of calculation are considered, to account for children who have drastically changed behavior year to year, this would be a child's current year ANNS. I think the current year ANNS would hold more weight in Santa's judgement but looking at the historical ANNS in conjunction with the current year could help provide a better picture of a child's character.

[–] sawdustprophet@midwest.social 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is starting to sound like The Good Place with extra steps...

[–] drbluefall@toast.ooo 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

North Pole Incorporated

bringing all the fun of HR and spreadsheet drudgery to the little boys and girls of the world

[–] vrek@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago

I mean in a certain light, christmas presents are a yearly bonus for children and Santa checking his list is a management review of the child's performance...

[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ooh this is actually a good learning example.

Kids will have their wish list that's another table that we wanna reference. Then of course do we have the name of the toys in the table, or simple reference "Toys" table.

Also need an address table as some kids get Santa gifts at more than one house...

[–] vrek@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I didn't even consider incorporating toy distribution... At what levels should kids get a small gift(a toy or game) vs a large gift(bike, game system etc).

In a real world scenario I would probably spilt this between 2 databases.. One for kids ("with a nice score of 2 you get a toy of value 4 or less") and one for toys ("the toys available with a value less than 4 are...")

[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Gonna need a whole auto converter thing to make sure that requests for "ps" "play station" and "new play station" all get converted to same thing!

[–] vrek@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah... Which is 100x more complicated cause Microsoft has no idea how to name consoles

[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 16 points 11 months ago

Santa’s clause will bring the DB down

[–] FellowHuman@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hope that the behavior is enum and indexed. ...and that the table doesn't have to many columns ...and there aren't many nice people ...god damn it just select only what you need and use limit

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

select only what you need and use limit

you don't know the structure of the contacts table, and do you really want christmas gifts to only go to the first x number of nice people?

update contacts set name = 'Grinch' where name = 'FellowHuman';

[–] watchingthingsmelt@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

You finally prompted me to create an account for Lemmy just so I could give you an upvote for making me smile.

[–] TDCN@feddit.dk 1 points 11 months ago

Welcome. I hope you'll have a great time here

[–] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He maintains when you are sleeping, he backs up while you're awake. BEGIN TRANS so if your code is no good you can ROLLBACK your mistakes.

[–] FiniteLooper@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago

A true holiday classic

[–] TDCN@feddit.dk 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This is mandatory to be posted every year for Christmas. Always makes me smile and sing along

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

"Behaved" would fit scansion better.