this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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Privacy

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Ok I have a question. I'm kinda a noob when it comes to privacy. I'll follow the guides and do the things to try to minimize ad companies selling my data etc.

Some basic stats: I have a Samsung running stock android. My GF has an iPhone. I use brave as my standard browser (I know that's not super popular but I haven't made the move to Firefox yet.) I have DNS level ad blocking on my router cause I hate ads with a passion. She uses safari.

So here's the deal. I was browsing the web looking for gift ideas for Christmas and came across some moccasins I liked. I mentioned to her that I liked them and browsed their website for a few minutes.

About 10 minutes after that, she's checking her Instagram and sees an ad for the exact brand of moccasin I just told her about. Just for kicks, she also checks her Facebook and sees the same ad there (makes sense cause it's the same company).

My question is basically how on earth did she get an ad for something I looked up? And how can we prevent that from happening? It's very very disconcerting to have ads pop up on others' phones right after looking that thing up.

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[–] scytale@lemm.ee 85 points 11 months ago (5 children)

One possibility: Are you on the same network (i.e. wifi) without a vpn? If yes, then both of you have the same public IP, so it’s trivial to figure out you’re likely in the same household.

[–] rtfm_modular@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago

I also hear people make the same claims against Alexa, but I usually start explaining what cookies are and how ad networks collects your data to more effectively target you. It doesn’t make fiscal sense to do mass audio surveillance when you already freely hand over your data.

[–] Knuschberkeks@feddit.de 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Most likely this. If not, there is a host of other possibilities they could make the connection. Sone that come to mind:

  • You both have instagram and have connected in a way that makes it likely you are in a close relationship (tagged in photos, DMs)
  • She allows Instagram to access the contacts on her phone, and OP is saved in there as her S.O.
  • They are connected through Whatsapp or some other Meta service.
  • The Company targets their ads at category which they both fall into (companies can manage which groups see their ads VERY specifically)
  • Coincidence
[–] Telcontar@lemmy.today 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Lemmy is the only social media I have, but we are connected via Whatsapp. I'm thinking that since we were both connected to the wifi without a VPN, that's the probable source of information bleed.

[–] baseless_discourse@mander.xyz 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

It can be the website you are browsing have trackers that share data with facebook, and facebook was able to infer you guys are in the same household via IP information (ISP also sales you info BTW), and push the ad to her. Or facebook might think that you guys could be the same person or have similar interest etc.

[–] Altomes@lemm.ee 13 points 11 months ago

Between this and geolocation I'd say its not hard to figure out you guys are in the same house

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

It's basically always this. Your phone in the same room with someone else's phone. This is stronger around christmas when people are looking for gift ideas, so they push this mind control shit on you even harder.

It's not actually listening to you--that's been debunked multiple ways--but what it's doing instead is arguably worse.

[–] akilou@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So what are the mechanics of this? OP would also have had to interact with Meta somehow after finding the moccasins but before the girlfriend did, right?

[–] sdoorex@slrpnk.net 13 points 11 months ago

No, you don’t have to interact with Meta. Websites that utilize Facebook ads in some fashion will install a Meta Pixel to their site in order to track users and better target their ads. That information can be correlated to others in the same household extremely easily.

You can read about the specifics of how Meta does it in their developer information here: https://developers.facebook.com/docs/meta-pixel/

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Chances are its much simpler than that

[–] nekusoul@lemmy.nekusoul.de 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yup. Maybe even just pure coincidence. People are very susceptible to confirmation bias and, as an extra spicy hot take, people in communities like this one even more so.

[–] Vexz@kbin.social 20 points 11 months ago

The first thing that pops up in my mind is your public IPv4. You see, in your home LAN every device uses the same public IPv4 to communicate in the internet. So if one device browses for something like an iPhone and you're being tracked then those ad brokers deliver iPhone ads to this public IPv4 and every device behind this public IPv4 will see those ads. Nobody on the internet knows whether behind this public IPv4 is a single device or a LAN with many devices.

[–] Ebby@lemmy.ssba.com 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Welcome to advertising tricks. My SO gets my ads because I block them too. "Blocks ads" is a data point that is tracking you around the web. They simply redirect your content to the next closest impressionable consumer. If they can't reach you, they'll market everywhere around you.

But this takes off doubly so this time of year. This trick really ramps up around gift giving events like The holidays, v-day, birthdays, or other life events.

[–] Telcontar@lemmy.today 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is there any way to prevent search information from being linked to me? Like some way so ad companies can't even gather than information That would be great

[–] RmDebArc_5@lemmy.ml 6 points 11 months ago

-Privacy friendly sites (no google, ddg/searxng and stuff) -VPN (Proton is private with a free tier, Mullvad for maximum privacy) -Fingerprint blocking in browser (Brave has it too standard, put it on aggressive)

[–] wincing_nucleus073@lemm.ee 11 points 11 months ago

As long as you are running closed source Operating Systems, they can listen to whatever they want, and scan whatever they want that's happening on your screen. Wake up people. Facepalm.

[–] AnonStoleMyPants@sopuli.xyz 11 points 11 months ago

Very common. Advertisers already know everyone you come in contact with, or ar least those whom you spend time with. They will use that info to push ads to the group, or to the relevant people of that group.

It's Christmas time, you browse moccasins store for 10min, obviously you're interested in them. Why wouldn't advertisers show that item to your gf? That's like the perfect ad for her.

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You have DNS ad blocking, but not IP encryption or DNS rerouting. DNS rerouting encrypts your plaintext DNS lookups, but your packets are still very much sniffable. If you aren't using a VPN + DNS filtering/rerouting, you're not anonymous. Also, if your girlfriend is away from home, she's probably completely unmasked on the internet. Same with you. Your phone keeps that metadata. Also, Facebook and Instagram all use tracking software that tracks your activity even if you close the apps. It would be wise to delete your facebook and instagram accounts as they aren't really necessary to live a happy life and they are actively spying on you.

If you really need to share photos, I'd recommend flickr or photobucket, and if you need to talk about yourself, get a blog. Your actual friends and family will find a way to stay in touch with you.

[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 8 points 11 months ago

Do you have a Facebook/instagram account where you have marked your GF as your GF or tagged your GF in a lot of photos? More likely than not, Meta pays attention to those connections and shows ads to people it deems close to you based on your browsing history. And remember that Meta tracks user actions beyond what they do on Meta sites.

[–] Pantherina@feddit.de 8 points 11 months ago

Same Wifi. If you want to not be identified to your home, use a VPN like Mullvad.

But yeah GFs with iphones, love it.

[–] sic_semper_tyrannis@feddit.ch 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A similar experience is what got me into privacy. Time to get off of social media and get rid of apps that have access to your keyboard, mic, files, etc.

[–] Streetdog@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The worst device in any household is the router. Even worse when it's a public one.

[–] Synthead@lemmy.world -2 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Streetdog@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Everything is connected through it, to the internet. All your devices have the same IP when connecting with the outside. If your ISP has access to it (most common setup unless you have your own router) they can see every bit of traffic going through it (tho they can't decrypt encrypted traffic, there is tons of personal information going through it). The standard insecure router is not difficult to compromise (especially a public one), resulting in compromised networks. A company like Google or Facebook, even without having an account with them, can get a good profile of each member in your household simply through tracking traffic (IP and device foremost). Not mentioning the "deals" they have to obtain or share this data with each other.

A VPN solves a lot of those issues, or at least obscures it, there's still fingerprinting.

Decent ISPs will configure their routers mostly locked down, but some don't at all. It's great if they allow you to configure it yourself lest you know what you're doing.

If you're using it bare naked, don't be surprised your SO's phone or your Smart TV shows ads for stuff you've been searching for in your phone at night alone in the bathroom. Even when none of the services are logged in or from the same company. It's any tracking company's moneymaker.

[–] Synthead@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have never heard of a router phoning home to report traffic.

[–] Streetdog@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Most routers are made in China. Not sure if I need to explain more because we are in a privacy forum… Guess people here are discovering, not discussing…

[–] rzlatic@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago

same thing happened to me. talked about very specific health-related topic, didn't googled it or anything, the next day instagram came up with ads for the very same specific health subject.

for a start, you can check instagram's permissions (and facebook of you use it, it's meta too) and disable access to microphone.

however, that leaves whatsapp which is also meta and mic is more of a neccesity than insta/fb, but in my case, haven't seen weird ads for subjects i didn't typed into any devices since i disabled insta mic access.

[–] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Few days ago I was talking with my wife about groceries, reminded her about buying more cat food. My daughter was sitting next to me, playing some game on her Android phone. Then she chirped "I got a cat food ad! I've never gotten a cat food ad before, ever! It's like the phone heard what you just said, dad!"

Yep. VPN and Adguard are now installed to every single mobile device in my household.

[–] Dislodge3233@feddit.de 5 points 11 months ago

I got ads for sexual assault therapy after I talked to my friend about my assault. I was livid. The audacity to try to make money off assault victims.

[–] Zerush@lemmy.ml 3 points 11 months ago

It's irrelevant which phone you use, iOS or Android, all smartphones are spyware by definition, risky to have important data in it.

[–] fogetaboutit@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Now do that but with your samsung phone.

[–] fogetaboutit@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Sterben@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

As others have said, it may be the same WiFe.

I am pretty sure the iPhone is listening though, because I saw a prank where a woman whispered to the husband's iPhone about baby stuff (to have a baby), and he complained about receiving a ton of ads about baby stuff just after that. So yes, welcome to the apple garden ahah

[–] Gooey0210@sh.itjust.works 0 points 11 months ago

Some people say it's your IP, but actually IP is rarely used for tracking

On the way to privacy there are some things you should know:

  1. Companies know who are your friends, especially if you communicate on the same messaging apps, etc
  2. Also they have your location
  3. And it seems like apps and Instagram are always listening (so if you say "pizza, pizza, pizza, I really like pizza, I really want to buy pizza now around me" you will get an ad with pizza)