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[-] BenEarlDaMarxist@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 10 months ago

As a self described aroace myself, I'd say no, or at least not really since I'm nervous around everyone new I meet whether I find them conventionally hot or not.

[-] Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

No, then again I don't differentiate people by the looks because I don't see anyone attractive in the sense that allos do resulting me in having the same RBF all the time.

[-] Aru@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 10 months ago

What if it was me walking past looking all bossgirl like 🥺

[-] Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 10 months ago

Still same😒

[-] Jennie@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 10 months ago

Not really. I obviously can't speak for all asexuals but I don't feel nervous around so-called "good looking" people. I used to get nervous around pretty much everyone but as I've matured into a more confident person it very rarely happens unless I am not in the mood for interacting with people

[-] Hyperlich@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 10 months ago

I'm not sure if I'm fit to answer this. I'm demisexual, which is considered to be on the asexual spectrum.

The answer for me is no. I smile awkwardly at everyone. I can tell when someone is traditionally attractive but I just feel nothing. I become nervous if it seems like they're up to something or are emotionally unstable or they have a lot of power over me or if I feel that other people are watching my interaction and judging me. Sometimes I get nervous cause I have those intrusive thoughts like "bite their nose, imagine biting their nose!" Similar to when your driving and you think "swerve into incoming traffic!"

I tend to mentally categorize people as cartoon caricatures in my head and there are certain caricatures I tend to like more because they match with caricatures from media. When I meet someone that matches a caricature architype I like, I think that's as close as I come to finding someone attractive without knowing them, but I don't act any differently when around them.

There was one time where I did feel instantly 'attracted' to someone. It was the strangest thing, I saw them and somehow got this intense and assured feeling that they would be an important part of my life. (She's my SO of 12 years now.) I didn't smile awkwardly (more than usual) at her or feel nervous. I just spoke to her as normal and then 2 years later I told her that I believe we would make a good couple due to several factors like political beliefs. It was not very romantic in hindsight. More like a scientific conjecture lol.

I hope that meandering ramble helps answer your question.

this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
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