this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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Not giving your kids access to the internet at all is insane. You're setting them up for failure by not actively teaching them how to navigate the Internet and what bs to look out for. Anyone that does this is just trying to indoctrinate their kid and prevent them from being exposed to any other ideas. The ego on parents that think they know enough to entirely prepare their kids for the world is ridiculous. Especially these days. You're just setting them up to be behind when they're older and they'll resent you while they struggle to catch up.
The thing is, the internet does exist now. And it is part of the world kids grow up in. So the question is not what someone thinks what the children will miss. They will not miss anything because they will have friends who will show them what the internet is. The question is: who do you want your kids to learn from what the internet is and can do?
From you or from their peers
Good luck with that. And also spying is the best way to lose your kid's trust.
'Monitoring' if anything is worse. After puberty a human needs some degree of privacy and autonomy. By all means use blockers, but reading their every google search, and especially making them aware of that, is only hurtful.
monitor*
My parents used this as part of their obsessive-control emotional / psychological abuse. Mostly to try to indoctrinate me into their cult, and their extremist right-wing ideology. There is a place for filters, and even search reports - but search reports ought to end around 14 years, and by 16 there needs to be some form of legal recognition of privacy rights as a human being for cases of isolating abuse as a part of indoctrination. P*rn blockers etc on the router are fine though, the network legally belongs to the parents. But human being, at least after puberty, requires privacy for proper psychological development. Complete surveillance after that time is psychologically and emotionally harmful to both the child and the relationship.
I'm reminiscing the days in school where we'd use proxy sites to get around the school blocklist/monitoring to play dolphin olympics
I remember busting out an ssh tunnel and blowing everyone's mind
Reduce it gradually to 0 until 16.
Spare them the embarassement with their peers.