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‘There were no warning signs’: what happens when your partner falls into the ‘manosphere’? (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 2 days ago by HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works to c/world@lemmy.world

244 comments fedilink hide all child comments

With surveys reporting that an increasing number of young men are subscribing to these beliefs, the number of women finding that their partners share the misogynistic views espoused by the likes of Andrew Tate is also on the rise. Research from anti-fascism organisation Hope Not Hate, which polled about 2,000 people across the UK aged 16 to 24, discovered that 41% of young men support Tate versus just 12% of young women.

“Numbers are growing, with wives worried about their husbands and partners becoming radicalised,” says Nigel Bromage, a reformed neo-Nazi who is now the director of Exit Hate Trust, a charity that helps people who want to leave the far right.

“Wives or partners become really worried about the impact on their family, especially those with young children, as they fear they will be influenced by extremism and racism.”

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

If they need validation from the likes of grifters and scumbags like Andrew Tate then they are already too far gone.

He's a fucking tool, and I have no idea why he appeals to young men. There's so many other, manlier, kinder folks out there who can provide that same validation.

[–] TheFudd@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

I disagree. Maybe if they received validation from their families and community, they wouldn't need validation from grifters? I think it says quite a bit about society when people feel the need to purchase the same kind of validation that they used to receive for free from their own communities in ages past.

Nobody likes being told they're worthless, they're a loser, they're an incel, or a "stupid bro", or that all of their struggles aren't valid. If everyone around them is telling them those things - Including you - Then validation becomes a rare and valuable commodity... A commodity that someone like Tate can make a lot of money selling to people.

There’s so many other, manlier, kinder folks out there who can provide that same validation.

And yet, those "other, manlier, kinder folks" are not out there doing that, are they? Instead, many of them are calling these people losers and incels and lost causes beyond all redemption, just like you are right now.

Why should they listen to those "other, manlier, kinder folks" when they aren't acting very kind to them?

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe they're too far gone, but you're talking about impressionable young boys, like 10-16. At those ages we as a society agree that a lot of all childrens personalities aren't dictated by their own choices since they lack the life experiences and cognitive abilities to function as an adult. Instead they're highly impressionable, influenced by their social sphere and nowadays their social media feeds.

So sure, maybe you could say they're fucked from the jump, but understand that they are not taking as active of a role in who's forming their thought processes like a 25 year old getting hooked on Tate is.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

I've been a 10-16 year old boy. At no point was anyone like Andrew Tate "cool" to me. He's not witty, he's not talented, he's done nothing XTREME. He's clearly putting up a massive front to pretend to be interesting and for some reason - microplastics, smart phone addiction, whatever - it's working.

Back in the 90s we would have called him "poser."

Tate just talks into a microphone with his stupid friends. If that's what is considered "cool" to today's teenagers then they're definitely too far gone.

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

I honestly don't even know what to say lol. How do you think anyone forms an identity ever? We have - I was going to type decades - but centuries of case studies and writing about why people get roped into cults of personality and insane belief systems despite looking like lunatics from the outside.

What do you even think is happening to these people? Based on your previous reply the answer is "I have no idea" which should tell you you should look a little deeper into what's happening.