this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2025
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[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 51 points 2 days ago (9 children)

Asia is so interesting. My coworker went to Japan for 2 weeks this month and said that they'd just follow in line and stare at you if you're disturbing the public peace. They were sitting at the end of the seats at a station and supposedly they were expected to get up and move to another seat whenever someone else wanted to sit?

And everyone would just be organised in lines when waiting. Quite friendly people, but cold. Nobody would be speaking on public transport and it would be deemed impolite.

My wife from Indonesia also hates it that teenagers are loudly talking to eachother on public transport here in Belgium.

The whole expectation of respect is so different.

So I completely believe it, when a bus driver loses his pension package for stealing 7 USD.

Their streets in Japan are clean while there barely are any public garbage bins available.

Ah, I need to travel more. But where's the time. We're expecting a baby. Do people travel with a baby? Is it safe? Is it insane? I think we're just gonna have to stay put for 3 years or so.

[–] BussyCat@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

You don’t have to get up because another person gets on, for priority seats they are reserved for those with “special needs” I.e. the elderly or disabled. But it’s common courtesy everywhere to offer your seat to an older/disabled/pregnant passenger.

People should also absolutely be judged for disturbing the peace if you want to talk to your friend on the train you talk in a quiet respectful volume there is no need to talk loud enough everyone around you can hear it.

The Japanese just generally have a respect for rules and for not negatively affecting other people

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 39 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They were sitting at the end of the seats at a station and supposedly they were expected to get up and move to another seat whenever someone else wanted to sit?

10 years in Japan now and I have zero clue what this might be referring to. Unless they were marked as priority seats, anyone can sit there. They might have been loud or disturbing without realizing it or something?

Nobody would be speaking on public transport and it would be deemed impolite.

It's not impolite to talk, it's impolite to be loud. It's fantastic, IMO, especially on the early, packed trains going into work in Tokyo and the like; the extra stress of noise is not needed and, many days, it served as a naptime.

Their streets in Japan are clean while there barely are any public garbage bins available.

This very much depends upon the area. They're also clean because people are cleaning up the shit in front of their houses basically every morning. I used to live between some bars and a hotel and those streets were not clean.

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Would you get deported if you lose your job or are you secure in your immigration?

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In my specific case, my status isn't tied to a job. In the average foreign worker's case, there's generally an allowed job-hunting period if employment ends on a work SoR. If unable to find a job then, yes, you would have to leave after your status expires.

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How did you secure permanent residency?

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have spouse status, but my PR application is in (spousal route, though I was almost at 10 years working in Japan to go that route anyway).

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Huh, my psychologist said her daughter lives in Japan, is married to a Japanese man and they have a child together. But if she loses her job, then she'd have to leave Japan.

Trying to connect the dots now, cuz you say you can just permanently stay as spouse.

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

One can apply for PR via spousal route after 3 years of marriage at least one year of that being in Japan. She might be on a work status and not spouse/dependent of japanese national, for whatever reason.

On a work status, shed need to notify immigration withing 14 days of losing her job, but there are ways to get time for job hunting. (14 days from death of spouse on spouse visa, for that matter)

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago

Aight, thanks for the info

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Please don't travel with a baby

Sincerely,

Someone tired of sitting in planes next to crying, screaming kids

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Babies cry on planes because their ears hurt. But there’s a maneuver you can do to manually pop your ears. If you show it to the parents, they can do it with the baby and the baby will shut the fuck up almost immediately.

Put your thumb in the soft meaty spot behind your earlobe, right behind where your jaw meets your skull. Put your index finger in the Concha Cavum. Your goal is to essentially grab your ear right inside the Anti Tragus.

Now gently grab, and lift upwards (towards 12 o clock on the above image) by pushing upwards with your thumb. Once you’re lifted, you’re going to slowly and gently roll backwards towards 11 and then 10 o clock. You’re not twisting, you’re just changing the direction that you’re pulling, like moving an analog stick on a game controller. As you continue to roll backwards, (it happens at around the 10 o’ clock position for me, but individual angles may vary from person to person,) your ear canal will suddenly open up (and your ear will pop if it needs to). And I said to go slowly and gently because it happens fairly quickly.

Your skull has an opening (called the external acoustic meatus) that allows sound to enter your ear canal. You’re basically grabbing the fleshy and cartilaginous parts of your ear canal, and moving it around slightly to stretch the parts inside of the skull opening. This stretching allows trapped pressure to equalize. But that stretching is also why I said to go slowly and gently, as that part of the ear isn’t used to being stretched so you’ll feel it very suddenly.

Have the parents practice it on themselves first, and then they can do it with the baby. It can be a little difficult for guys to do because baby’s ears are smaller, but usually mom’s fingers are thin enough if she doesn’t have super long nails.

Source: Have had several flights with crying babies, where I was able to have a frank “hey I don’t want to intrude but you can pop baby’s ears to get them to stop crying” conversation. If you approach them with an attitude of “I just want to help baby feel better” instead of being pissed that the baby is crying, the parents are likely to be receptive; No parent wants to see that their child is in pain.

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks for this info, I've actually done this process accidently by pulling my earlobes before, I'm glad I finally have an explanation on that slight pop I hear when I do that

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

When I was very young (and screaming on a flight), I remember a flight attendant bringing two Styrofoam cups to my mom to put over my ears. It helped immensely! This might be easier than the technique described above? I'll read again and try this though.

Pressure changes still hurt me immensely, but I've developed my own way of dealing with it.

There are other means of travel.

[–] Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Fuck that. Who made you dictator of travel like Cheeto supremo?

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Do dictators say please, you didn't even say please, who's the dictator now

/s for those who don't get it

[–] Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Take some earplugs....please. and please don't travel in or to Canada. We allow babies on planes here. Even crying ones.

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I was making a JD Vance joke lol

[–] Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

Sorry I'm Canadian. I don't know all the stuff. Apologies.

[–] wondrous_strange@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

No use fighting these egotistical assholes; they love making their kids the problem of other people. So that they won't have to suffer in regret alone.

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The chance you'll be in the same plane is very low actually

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

I'm sorry, I'm going through a tunnel.. connection is really bad 😬 books 2 plane tickets knowing that baby under 1 year travels free

[–] qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 3 points 1 day ago

We're expecting a baby. Do people travel with a baby? Is it safe? Is it insane? I think we're just gonna have to stay put for 3 years or so.

If your baby isn't super fussy, the transportation difficulty (in our experience) is more in the logistics getting to/from airport, and dealing with other ground transportation. We just flew 5+hrs (coast to coast, US) with a 2mo and a ~3yo, and it was a piece of cake (typing that, I've jinxed the return flight...).

We haven't done international travel with our kids yet, but we will eventually. When I was 2 my family went to Europe


some countries were meh with respect to kids, but Italy (from my folks' retelling) was fantastic, as there is (or was) a big cultural love for young kids.

YMMV of course, but it's absolutely doable! Kids


even starting as babies


have personalities, and you'll get a sense of what's appropriate with yours. Good luck!

[–] djmikeale@lemm.ee 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My parents flew from Denmark to Canada for a month, when I was 3 months old. So I reckon you could. Depends on you, your partner, and your kid, on whether you feel comfortable travelling.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Small kids are sick all the time usually with basic stuff but you'll gave to know your stuff (like when go get a real doctor).

Or get lucky like OP ;-) /jk

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In this thread: people who dont understand japanese culture. Except this guy, who heard the truth of japan from their coworker.

What is said is correct.
Also, do you live or work on the region of ghent by any chance?

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Relatively close to Ghent, you trying to dox me? 🌝

I say too many socially unacceptable things on the internet, Timmy.

My boss would look like when signing my C4:

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh, same haha. No, its just that i had a coworker return from japan last week too so was checking if we might be talking about the same person haha. Filip lol

[–] Wanpieserino@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nah the only filip that I know is our lord and saviour

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

He shall save us from the devil trump! All hail filip!

Ah, so that's why Japanize like Finland.

[–] rollerbang@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In my experience, the younger they are the easier it is to travel. Especially <3 years of age.

[–] easily3667@lemmus.org -1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Not for people around you, but sure, who cares about them

And to be clear I'm not saying folks with kids can't travel. Sometimes people die, sometimes there's a major life event. But we're talking about a generic you having a vacation your kid won't remember. This is about you hurting others so you can have fun after making the choice to have a child. The world sure as shit doesn't need more kids.

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you think YOURE annoyed by the kid, just imagine how the parents must feel with everyone hating them for it, too! Think of the poor, helpless parent who had no other choice but to put an infant on an airplane

Every time this topic came up on Reddit. Babies should be banned from planes or cost more to take on them

[–] easily3667@lemmus.org 4 points 2 days ago

I don't want them to cost more unless I'm getting paid. I don't need delta to get more cash.

[–] umfk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

We flew to Japan when our first kid was 9 months old. It was great.