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this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2023
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Technology
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A key difference is that nothing was being shoved at you as soon as you got up from the computer.
You can always put your phone down. I also get the pressure to return a text/dm right away, but as far as I can tell no one that I actually want to talk to expects that immediate response.
That was a key thing to finally learn. I'd removed all the people who expected I was on call for them from my life for other reasons, which wasn't an easy process, so everyone left is a reasonable person who texts for non-business reasons with a 1-2 day response expectation, though it's usually much faster. If it's more important, it's a phone call. If they just want to chat, they text to see if I'm available before calling.
I set my phone to not ring unless the number's in my contacts. If someone needs to get a hold of me, they can leave a message ... but never do. I get notifications for weather alerts, text messages, my transit app and when a new xkcd gets posted. I certainly check my email and other apps on occasion, but I don't need notifications.
Other than surrounding yourself with the right people, the whole thing takes minutes once you've hit that mindset.