Janitor at university. Found locked military case in river. Coworker says FIM-92 Stinger missile. Heavy. Maybe water, maybe live missile. Call police. Military and EOD arrive. Entire campus locked down. Half of workers taken for questioning. EOD open it -- full of some idiot's clothes and books.

New grudge unlocked.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 17 points 1 week ago (22 children)

Imagine if it was full of adult toys. That would be something to talk about.

[–] SaltyBarDog@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ownership of dildos must be normalized. In fact, I want to propose making mandatory to receive one upon becoming of legal age at your country of birth. Upon entering a new job? Complementary dildo. Entering the military? Camouflage pattern, G.I. Dildo. Graduating? Dildo. College? Dildo. Masters? XL Dildo. Doctorate? Epic Dildo. Getting engaged? Matching dildos.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Camouflage pattern, G.I. Dildo

G.I. Diljoe?

Masters? XL Dildo.

The Green Jack-It

College?

Magnum Cum Louder

Doctorate

The Cocktorate

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I like how your mind works.

Are we starting a product line?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You made me realize being a professional double-entendre creator might be my dream job.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

Start issuing fan cards and I'll be your number one.

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