this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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[–] GnomeKat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I am absolutely alone.

I have not had a friend irl in like 7 years and on top of that a lot of trauma that has made it very difficult to trust people now. In 2020 some bad stuff happened to me at like right at the start of the year just before the pandemic really took off. I just... shut down, pandemic and trauma and everything I just couldn't cope other than withdrawing from everything.

Thats been going on for 3 years now, pretty much live like a hermit now even though I am in the middle of a big city, like hikikomori levels of hermit. No family nearby. I just never leave my apartment anymore, get everything delivered. I can "technically" leave, I am able to go to things like a rare dr appointment or something like that. But I get near panicky if I am out too long, I have thrown up several occasions trying. It's actually been a few years now since I even talked to any one irl except for people in like service roles like shopkeepers or receptionists, things like that. I actually don't know how to unhermit myself at this point. I feel trapped.

If you read this and think of commenting some shit about how I just need to put myself out there please fuck off, it's not that simple.

[–] hanj@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

That sounds like a most extreme version of what I've experienced. Do you hang out with ppl online at all? Down to talk to a rando if you got time this wknd.

[–] jerebear205@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I want to say, you are not alone in your experience. Millions of people are dealing with social withdrawal. Alot of ppl misunderstands and assumes it's a choice when its often not. There are numerous reasons be they - environmental, Social, and personally that leads people to that situation. This phenomena is global and the numbers of ppl across the world socially withdrawing is startling. The rates of social dislocation, loneliness and disconnection are at sky-high rates as well. So this is a global social crisis that is happening.

I'm not going to give cliche solutions but I think checking out Dr. K's videos from HealthyGammer gives alot of insights on Psychology and mental health for today's digital age, so check them out, could be insightful. He made a video on this topic called 25 year old loner

This is a major problem that isn't being addressed. So many ppl are suffering and this issue isn't enough respect it deserves. To help people socially withdrawing the answer to the problem isn't just getting out there as you said, but adressing other underlying mental health problems.

Edit: Grammar, spelling

[–] meyotch@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

Hell no it isn’t simple. It sounds like a constant struggle with no rest.

I got stuck so far up my own ass, emotionally speaking, I couldn’t keep a social engagement for several years. There’s just no reasoning yourself out of it.

I intentionally took an extremely social retail job to force myself to go through the motions of social interaction. Part-time was all I could handle. I needed the job anyway and the benefits were good so I could avail myself of proper mental health care. Eventually I emerged and am still rebuilding a healthy social circle.

It’s hard and I’m sorry you are going through this. Your path will be different than mine, but I want good things to happen for you.