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How would you feel if somebody you knew told you they had NPD? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by SpaceFox@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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If somebody you knew like a family member, partner or friend told you they had NPD would you still talk to them? Would it change how you feel about that person?

As someone with NPD I'm always worried about how having NPD would affect me socially. It's so stigmatised and people are always talking about how dangerous people with cluster B personality disorders are. I'm dating this guy at the minute. I really love him but I'm worried about how he would feel if he found out about my NPD. Would he still want to see me after what you see online about NPD? Should I ever tell him? Should I just keep it secret?

As of now I've told nobody about my diagnosis other than a few people at job interviews. What I'm basically asking here is 'How will NPD affect your social life?'.

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[–] conciselyverbose@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

The issue is behavior (which is the primary way most of that is diagnosed to begin with).

Acknowledging the behavior and making a deliberate attempt to prevent/improve it is something I would see as a positive sign compared to the behavior without the same steps. Getting a diagnosis (and some type of therapy) is a good thing.

If you consistently treat me badly, the label wouldn't be why I left. If you make mistakes, but make the regular effort to be aware of them and improve, the label doesn't matter either.

[–] SpaceFox@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Finally, somebody understands. This is what I've been trying to get across to people. If somebody is being manipulative or abusive the problem is there behaviour not a diagnosis they were born with but our society is more preoccupied with pop psychology and demonising those with personality disorders.

[–] conciselyverbose@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

So I'm not big on most of what passes for self improvement material (I think the self help genre is almost entirely trash), but anyone who makes a habit out of trying to make themself better is moving the right way.

[–] conciselyverbose@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago

It's worth noting that there will be people who hear the label and react badly, though.

I would argue that the short term pain is worse than hiding it and being with someone who doesn't know you and can't understand you, but I can't promise it won't be a dealbreaker for someone you really don't want it to be, either.