I was on SSDI and taking medications. I really wanted to work and started working, despite having severe psychiatric issues.
After this the Franchise Tax Board (California Tax Agency) tried to collect back taxes with interest and penalties from me due to taxes owed but not paid after I became disabled mid-year. 50 percent was tax and 50 percent was interest and penalties. It was not a small amount.
I tried to tell them, hey please stop taking so much for the back taxes, I have a medical issue and I'm not doing well and they didn't care. I've called them before and they are extraordinarily mean, cruel, and condescending. It was pointless talking with them. Please don't tell me to call the FTB. I've done that.
Now I have maxed out credit cards (because I couldn't afford normal.expenses), my power just went out and I work remotely so I can't work, and I can't get psychiatric medications because I can't afford them.
I want to also urge anyone on disability: NEVER TRY TO WORK. They lie and say they will let you go back and will be nice to you, but they don't care and lie. Even if 1 government agency will treat you well, the others don't care. Again, please if you know anyone on disability, please urge them to not work part-time, volunteer, or try out working. It's not worth it. I work a full-time slightly above minimum wage job, over 30K a year, and I get less than 50 percent of my pay. I was stupid and naive to believe I could go back to disability after working. There's no trying work.
I also started having pretty bad psychiatric issues recently. I called Social Security to try to get an expedited review and they told me I couldn't get one from them, even though it's been less than 5 years. It probably sounds like I am lying about severe issues since I can talk coherently, but this is a throwaway account.
It's strange, because I was decent at this job and could have paid them back easily over 7-8 years and obviously wanted to work, but they just did not care. So now they are halfway paid and won't get the other half, plus they will lose out on future tax revenue since I'm not working again, not after this, plus they will probably end up spending money on me through government programs. I'm not sure if this has a deterrant effect since the tax problems happened due to medical problems.
It's funny, I am thinking about how dying would be an easier path. And no, I don't want to a call a suicide hotline since that would result in me being taken to a hospital, billed 15,000 I don't have, and deprived of privacy and dignity and forced to lie to people to say I am happy to get out. It's just horrible. Been there, done that. It's not that I want to die, but the California Franchise Tax Board is making it unaffordable to live. I don't want to die, but dying sure is cheap. If I express this sentiment to any clinician, I would be locked up and forced into more debt. I have learned clinicians never care about financial wellness and its impact on happiness. From their perspective a homeless person who isn't even allowed to sleep on spikes under a building should be happy or on psychiatric medication until they are doing well.
I also have been treated so badly by the Califotnia government and FTB that I don't really expect that I could work with them. They've lied to me before. I also have been arrested before and don't trust the system. The arrest was due to the untreated psychiatric issue. They are actually severe and it's just so humiliating and so I don't like discussing them, cogency notwithstanding.
Since I can't work and am already having psychiatric symptoms, instead of being healthy, I will now go back to being a leech on the system one way or another. In a hospital, a jail. I am not one of those people who would just stay outside homeless and cold. I'd break windows until I had a place to sleep. I'll likely qualify for government benefits. They really want me to be a leech.
I'm really angry about this, and angry with how I've been treated. I feel like everyone in this world is just fucking terrible. I'm also going to run out of phone power soon.
I have no friends. I come from an abusive family. I feel like society actually wants me to die, and to make it even more cruel they put up anti-suicide hotlines everywhere as some quick sand financial trap for the naive, as though such lines do anything other than send police and lock people up, then leave them with huge bills, in a worse off position.
Even if now that the power is off the FTB would take that as proof they have been to harsh, I can't afford to turn the power on anyway.
Well, I'm not homeless yet, but will be soon. Thanks FTB!
Ironically, my income also disqualifies me from low income tax clinics.
Any advice on what to do? I may lose phone power and be unable to read a reply or respond.
I deal with PII so it's not an option. I have a MiFi. Can I just buy a generator and a battery and somehow keep my laptop and MiFi powered up? I could also try to take an unpaid leave of absence or medical leave of absence. The only problem is my insurance at work doesn't pay out and even if I try to get workers disability, I am scared enough of the system that I can't really try to be off work for psych because I am scared of their system. The last time I received treatment in a locked facility, it was an emotionally abusive experience and they kept me for a long time. It seems like a terrible option.
It really sucks.
I actually need to move anyway. I have two rooms where I am, a living room and bedroom, and could try to move into the living room. I could also ask to buy power from a neighbor for a day with a cord but my neighbors hate me because I keep to myself, mostly because I don't want to be found.