You are mistaken. It's wrong to think that just because they're married their wives have meaningful control of any finances. It's easy to see, for example, when they separate. Gates and Bezos' former spouses took about 10% of their respective fortunes. Musk is single, lol. Putin is also single, but do you really imagine he ever let his wife make a decision?

Those are cherry picked examples, sure, but you can go down the list of billionaires and see that they are divorced much more often than you think, and their wealth doesn't change much in the divorce.

More basically, the men are the ones on the list, aren't they.

Their children also don't have that kind of power until their parents die or at least get old enough to start succession planning, and they certainly don't have control of the money.