Asklemmy

As the title says. My mom was always nagging, neurotic, overbearing, and domineering. She needed to control every aspect of my lives, to the point when I was a teen and still felt dependent and handicapped. She always imposed her anxieties and worries into me, it’s just so draining. She only feels comfortable when I leave the house for school. If I leave for any other reason, she seems exasperated. I prefer living in her house over living alone because I don’t have the means to do the latter. She gets mad that I don’t know how to drive and says she wants to teach me, but then refuses to teach me how. Just the other day, my brother who is in his late 20s, said he wanted to take a taxi to his place after a family gathering, and she just flipped out on him. She said “we all arrive here together and we all leave here together.” She just ruined the night with her screaming. That’s how fucked up she is. My grown brother, who has his own place, still has to give my mom control over the most trivial aspects of his life. That’s how deep our fear of her is. I can go on, and I’m willing to give more specific details if asked. I blame my weak father and deranged mother for a lot of the flaws I have now. It feels like I’m dealing with a nagging monster who never dies, and that kills me to say because I do love her (despite hating her) and will cry like a removed when she dies. However, I’m just at the point where I just want her to shut the fuck up, and stick to doing meals and laundry. Can anyone else relate? My life is already not perfect and a nagging monster by my side doesn’t help. It’s like she wants to infuse our egos together.