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Are men as intimate with there friends as girls are? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 weeks ago by SpaceFox@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I've had female friends and I've had male friends but for some reason I've noticed that females are more intimate and close to there friends then males are. Is this true for all male friends?

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[–] sunshine@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They're not the same thing, though. If you use infantilizing language with people of one sex until they're 40, yeah, people are going to notice that and think it's weird. I used to have a ton of unexamined behaviors like that before I worked on it a fair amount, and yeah, I was pretty lonely back when...

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't think most people care. Granted, maybe it's the dysphoria speaking, but I love it when someone calls me "girl" and I'm 30. None of the people I know care. If anything it feels more familiar to call someone a girl or a boy than a man or a woman. The latter two feel very "official", while the former feel casual.

Also I've absolutely heard girls call a group of men, "boys". Like, one of the white suburban mom stereotypes is to call her husband and his friends, "the boys". Like, "hey honey, how was hanging out with the boys" or "oh, he's off with the boys doing who knows what".

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I share your sentiment, whenever one of my aunts calls me a '"good-looking boy," my mid-30s heart warms up.

In addition, we will all mature only when we realise that we never stop being children in one way or another. Plus why would anyone want to give that up? One of the few nuggets of genuine joy and curiosity that's still left for us to own.

[–] andrewrgross@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I think what you and @mossyfeathers@MossyFeathers@pawb.social are picking up on is that youth-coded descriptors are often terms of endearment. They're often used flirtatiously and towards people of whom you feel protective.

Conversely, adult names imply responsibility. Is it a problem to describe men in a way that implies responsibility and women in a way that implies protectiveness? Not necessarily.

I just think this stuff is linguistically interesting. I think it's more grammatically typical to use equivalent terms to create parallel construction when comparing the sexes. Again, no judgment is intended.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 3 weeks ago

Idk, you think this woman's use of the word "girl" is likely contributing much to her lonliness? I mean that'd probably be true if she was a man because people would automatically assume the worst, but in my experience women can usually get away with saying "girl" without anyone caring.