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for those of you with good communication skills, what do I tell my manager so she stops telling me I need to talk more (socially)? (programming.dev)

submitted 1 month ago by dennis5wheel@programming.dev to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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very similar question to my last one but this time with management, not a coworker.

Similar because she keeps pestering me with what to her seems to be an important issue. She doesn't seem to understand that I'm there to work and not to socialize. On our last conversation she told me we're a big family and that I'm welcomed to be sincere with her with a big smile, to me a fake one.

So many red flags I wanted to run, but I still have to articulate it in office speak so she stops pestering me.

Context is an exit interview management is going to use to try and convince me to stay, but I don't want to work there anymore, too much drama and cattiness over dumb crap.

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[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 month ago

It sounds like you’re in an ideal position since you’re leaving anyway.

Option 1: fuck em. Tell them nothing. Remain professional and curt until your last day and never look back. Don’t bother with the exit interview.

Option 2: say nothing to your manager. During the exit interview (assuming it’s not just your manager in attendance), tell them your manager constantly pressures you to engage in social activity outside your work scope. You didn’t want to do that because there’s already so much pettiness and politics and you don’t see how more social exposure to your coworkers would improve that.

Option 3: sit down with your manager right now and explain that you don’t want to make friends with your coworkers. You’re perfectly happy getting along with them and doing good work, but you keep your social life separated from your work life. You find constant non-work chatter as a distraction and it keeps you from concentrating on and delivering good work.

Option 4: quit now. Unless you really need a reference from this company in the future, every shift you remain there is just doing them a favour. Write a letter to the CEO outlining why you’re leaving and why you don’t see any possibility of the company culture improving under its current management.

Quite frankly, the fact that she used the word “family” suggests she’s too out to lunch and can’t be reasoned with. She didn’t become a manager through any sort of training and doesn’t possess the mindset to empathize where people are coming from if they aren’t exactly like her.