this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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I'm 38, wife is 40, absolutely heartbreaking. We've been trying for 5 years, went to the NHS for IVF, but because of the pandemic we "aged out" of multiple rounds. The one go we had didn't result in pregnancy, and if we can't conceive with as many rounds as we can afford private were planning to adopt. Which is pretty difficult in the UK actually.
My wife and I are 30 and we're just doing out first round of IVF now. It's bloody expensive in Australia we can't really afford many rounds so it's going to be interesting. Spending house savings on having a child was never something I thought we would be doing
Yeah, over in the UK(depending on what country) if you're under 40 you get 2-4(?) rounds on the NHS. But due to the pandemic, and us moving to Scotland from London, my wife turned 40 before we were able to be seen. Our one round had two embryos, one botched implant because the clinic was adamant that they implant unfrozen, despite the hormones from up/down regulation for egg retrieval causing such massive inflammation for my wife that it took an hour and a half to implant(should be less than 10 minutes.) The second embryo failed before it could be implanted. So now we're going for private in Athens. Even with last minute flights, last minute accommodation and transport costs while we're there, it'll be Β£3000-Β£4000 cheaper than going private here in Scotland.
And even then we're looking at remortgaging our house to afford it. We're by no means poor. What was it my wife called us....DINKs? Dual Income, No Kids. And we own the house we live in outright thanks to her parents buying at the right time, and her inheriting early enough to avoid any excess taxes. But we have basically no disposable income. In one hand, out the other.
Anyway, I hope for all the best with you two. It's an absolute motherfucker. If you'll pardon my french...
Off topic but you should check out a show called βTryingβ. Itβs quite touching
We watched a bit, it was good, but hit to close to home for the Mrs.
Good luck to you. Try the adoption/foster-child road, bur don't give up. My wife's cousin tried for more than 5 years, went through several ivfs and some kind of procedure, but was considered barren at the end. But for whatever reason it then suddenly worked and they have 3 children now (they only wanted 2, but I guess they prayed too hard or something).
We're going to try a few rounds of Private, then try for a surrogate, and then adopt/foster. We'd ideally like one of ours, but we know there's loads of kids that need a stable home.
Maybe it's time for me to find religion.....