this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2023
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Honestly AOSP (stock Android) isn't that different to Google's look, just more minimalistic and most roms will be based on AOSP with some minor tweaks. You could look into custom launchers, although not really an area I'm familiar with.
Agreed on notifications, I like to block the majority of them, which you can mostly do with modern Android versions. You might like to use F-Droid if you haven't already, since all apps are open source and not monetary focused, so tend to have less obnoxiousness to them as well.
I've been through a lot of launchers, to the point where I'm not even certain what I'm currently using. It's all cartoonish and absolutely against my design aesthetic. I turned notifications off months ago for anything but direct communication from my contacts and set the phone to go straight to voicemail for anyone else, and it's been bliss. I have a few F-Droid apps, but I've found that I prefer the desktop experience for most use cases through that store ... rarely do I have a pressing need to check my RSS feed where I can't read links on a full monitor.
I get into work and back home in a far better mood by playing a casual game and listening to music on my commute, and there's nothing I miss about slavishly checking my phone.
Stock android ROM(s) sound like a good fit since you seem to like a minimal experience.
GrapheneOS would probably suit you too and has improved privacy and security, but it's Pixel only so I've never got to try it myself.