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Linux is a family of open source Unix-like operating systems based on the Linux kernel, an operating system kernel first released on September 17, 1991 by Linus Torvalds. Linux is typically packaged in a Linux distribution (or distro for short).

Distributions include the Linux kernel and supporting system software and libraries, many of which are provided by the GNU Project. Many Linux distributions use the word "Linux" in their name, but the Free Software Foundation uses the name GNU/Linux to emphasize the importance of GNU software, causing some controversy.

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Microsoft parody (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip to c/linux@lemmy.ml

40 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I am a certified Linux user with almost 10 years of experience.

Please run the following command in a terminal:

sudo apt update && sudo apt upgrade -y

Let me know if this fixes your issue

- certified Linux expert

(I'm making fun of the 25 year Microsoft veterans on the support page that tell users to run SFC /scannow)

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[–] signofzeta@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hi possiblylinux127,

I have 200 years of experience with Microsoft Systems, and six children. Janie is just going to her first day of school today, and I'm buying her a Zune - a project I was heavily involved in and am proud of the commercial success that it was.

I have extensively worked on GPO as a developer, engineer, architect, project manager, lead coffee run guy and support officer. It is, like all our products, perfect and would never experience any issue itself, it is always user error.

I am sorry to hear you are having a GPO permissions issue. Before I tell you the solution, might I suggest you purchase the Microsoft Advanced GPO Support® or the Microsoft Expert (24/7) Support® support packages. We are currently throwing in a special on our 1hr response, 8 week resolution SLAs at the moment for only an additional $8,999 USD! Here are a few links:

Microsoft Advanced GPO Support®

Microsoft Expert (24/7) Support®

Your solution can be found below, and is guaranteed to fix the issue:

Open Start.
Search for Command Prompt, right-click the top result, and select the Run as administrator option.Type the following command to repair the Windows system files and press Enter:
sfc /scannow

I would greatly appreciate it if you could click on Mark As Answered if this resolved your GPO problem. Janie really needs that Zune.

Regards,

Pete Peterson (281,192,763 points) MCPA, MCPD, MCSE, COAP, ISUA, KSPA, MCITP, AIS Certified

(This shitpost isn’t mine. I found it somewhere and saved it.)

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

Dear Microsoft support,

We use an Alexa which I have connected to our nieghboring company's guest wifi. When our firewall goes down, I have a raspberry pi that is programmed to play a recording of my voice that says "Alexa Turn Off The Christmas Tree" (i can't figure out how to reprogram the smart plug.) and then 5 minutes later another recording that says "Alexa turn on the christmas tree." This is has worked very well for us so far.