This was a really fun take. Even though it's ridiculous, it's fun to entertain theories like this!

I'll throw a wrench in the works for anyone who wants to theorycraft further: Say the rocks floating up aren't caused by gravity at all, but some other force. Maybe extreme winds caused by a massive celestial body approaching the planet's surface could be strong enough to create enough lift to make the rocks float. Kind of like the vortexes and turbulence you'd create in a pool of water by dropping a bowling ball into it. What sort of properties would the moon need to have for this to be the explanation for the floating rocks?