this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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Two women who say they were raped and strangled by the controversial social media influencer Andrew Tate have spoken to the BBC about their experiences.

Another woman has alleged, for the first time, she was raped by Mr Tate’s younger brother, Tristan - also an influencer with millions of followers.

The Tate brothers, aged 37 and 36, currently face charges in Romania of human trafficking and forming an organised group to sexually exploit women. Andrew Tate is also charged with rape.

If found guilty, the two men could be jailed for more than 10 years. They strongly deny the charges against them.

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[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

How many of those are talking about how to, bluntly put, score gals and become a man you yourself respect. "Is famous, male, and not an asshole" doesn't really suffice as credentials, here.

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's almost like having the life objective to "score gals" isn't a very healthy or good goal to begin with. It's fine to be promiscuous and have lots of partners, but I don't believe the mannosphere is the way to get there.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

But no one is telling them that either.

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee -2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Where, from "bluntly put, score gals" (note the "bluntly") did you get to "life goal" and "promiscuous"? Unless you're ace once puberty hits you're out there trying to get laid. Either sex, everything in between and laterally. Are you trying to shame people for their biological impulses, are you from a cripplingly puritan culture or something.

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, but most people can go through puberty without masturbating in class (something I've been unfortunate to witness). You can have a healthy view on sex even in your teenage hormone phase. That's what sex positive education is about. Those teenagers that crave sex will have it, so it's best to just educate how to be safe about it. Andrew Tate and Trump are the exact opposites of being safe and having fun. Coercing or forcing yourself upon another person is the opposite of good sex. Yes, teenagers make mistakes, but the best we can do is shut down and call Tate and co out for the absolute incels they are.

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee -1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I’m sorry, but most people can go through puberty without masturbating in class

What the fuck are you on about. Why are you bringing up random shit like that. That's the sexual equivalent of smearing shit on the wall, likely due to severe personal trauma/neurosis, and definitely not something that can be addressed by internet role models. It's a case for a psychologist. It also has nothing to do with dating advise.

Andrew Tate and Trump are the exact opposites of being safe and having fun.

I don't think anyone in this whole thread disagrees. Certainly not me. What they do do though is telling you to grab em by the pussy, that's absolutely terrible advise (unless you're in an established relationship then YMMV), but it is advise and in the absence of good advise that's what some kids will latch onto.

They have desires, they have questions on how to go about fulfilling those. If they came to you and asked how to become a doctor, welder, or fashion designer, you'd probably be happy to oblige, but when it comes to finding a sexual partner? Generally, either crickets or terrible advise. From all directions. Most of my dates I got out of organically starting play fights during ordinary hanging out, and if you don't have the attitude to pull it off naturally and without thinking with your dick when doing that that's also terrible advise. But at least it's not lying about the "be nice" / "she's going to hook up with an asshole anyway" (apparent) paradox: There's a difference between harmless and peaceful. Loom like a rollercoaster: Intimidating, yes, but not dangerous. If she wants a ride, she'll get on. How did I learn that? Probably has something to do with my bigger sisters gang-tickling me.

Which, actually, brings me to another structural problem: Kids have too few siblings nowadays and at least in many countries kindergarten, daycares etc. are terrible when it comes to fostering proper social development. In the US they probably arrest 3yolds for stealing scrunchies and sentence them as adults. You don't learn conflict resolution if there's no conflicts around, you don't learn forgiveness if there's nothing people can be sorry for because everything is wrapped in sterile bubble wrap. You also don't learn it if an adult thinks forcing someone to say "sorry" is a resolution, ground zero for tokenism right there.

but the best we can do is shut down and call Tate and co out for the absolute incels they are.

Defeatist. Seriously. "The best we can do"? That attitude is toxic.