this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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Used to work in digital design. By pure happenstance the foundational initial team on a major project was all women and we recognised that wasn't a good balance in terms of external perception but also in terms of getting different perspectives on design approaches.
We managed to recruit some great blokes, but they were hard to find. So many of the new dudes didn't work out because it was so obvious how inferior they perceived us women to be. Very few of them had the skills to warrant any level of arrogance, let alone full blown superiority complex.
It was disappointing.
You’re absolutely right. The most likely scenario is that the person with first-hand knowledge misinterpreted the situation. These poor men and their sensitive feelings…
Irony aside, I’m sure it’s a complex situation with different relevant points to any perspective, but the events as told line up with my own experiences.
I would suspect it’s a humility issue. It’s a constant challenge, for me at least, to be vulnerable about my weaknesses and not be bull-rushed by other men seeing an opportunity to push me down. Fortunately I’m the boss now, so I can set an example that I can be wrong and trust others to say I’m right, or step back and admit a weakness that another can cover.
Right, making it look like you know what you’re doing is a great way to advance to the point where you cause real damage. I’m glad you don’t have to do that, and aren’t getting trampled by the people who do.
Exactly. Which is why I started with questions so you could explain more. That's how a conversation works and prevents it from getting toxic.
Case and point.
Oh, uh. I’m wondering if I laid the irony down too thick. I think the comment you originally replied to is probably correct. I think your questions are typical escape hatches for men to be blameless in any situation. I can imagine you didn’t mean them that way, but that’s what’s usually meant by them.
Having worked with designers in an ad agency (although not a designer myself), the male designers didn't ever have a good thing to say about the work of any of the female designers. Consequently, none of them stuck around for long (one of them is a creative director in a big agency now, so presumably she wasn't that bad).
Then again, they were assholes in many other respects as well, and the guys in the next companies I worked for were a lot better.
Uh yeah... Some did say things to that effect.
And there are other behaviours that can demonstrate that mindset.
But thank you for mansplaining my lived experience, champ. Couldn't have navigated that one with my pea sized, woman's brain.
I go through life making snap judgements of people I hire and don't at all try to find common ground or empathise with their position, because I love pissing money up the wall and endless recruitment processes. Just floats my boat, you know