this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD
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A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
- No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
- Do not request for donations.
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- Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
- Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
- Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
- Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).
Encouraged:
- Funny memes.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our values.
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
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ADHD and depression aren't mutually exclusive. What you and I might struggle with on a Tuesday might be the last straw for another person.
Most people in real life who know me have almost no clue that I'm diagnosed with ADHD. I'm similar to the other person who responded to you, in the sense that no one bothered to teach me the coping skills I needed when I was younger. I'll be honest with you, people's attitudes towards it led me down a pretty dark path. I got fed up with random people assuming that they knew more about my diagnosis than my doctor did. I got tired of listening to people who had never even been around someone with ADHD tell me that I "wasn't trying hard enough" or that I "didn't try their family cure". So, nearly no one knows anymore. It can be isolating.
I could have used my experiences as an excuse to be a judgemental, angry person, but I decided that I was better than that. Instead, now I try to help others in my life with the same or similar conditions. Sometimes, just being a little more emotionally open with people who are struggling can do wonders for them.
If you were having the worst time of your life, you probably wouldn't want to listen to random people who are grumpy with you, right? You're probably going to go for the people who will actually hear what you have to say, even if they can't offer an instant fix.
What I'm getting at, is sometimes people just want to be heard. They aren't necessarily looking for someone to tell them what they're doing wrong. Sometimes they're just looking for "oh man, I have that problem too!" or a "that sucks, I'm sorry to hear that". Mental health is easier when you don't feel alone.
If I don't feel up to the task, I just scroll. Who am I to tell someone I don't know that they aren't trying hard enough? That's up to that person, the people who love them, and their doctor, imo.
For the rare people who do use it as an excuse, you kind of have to wonder what else might be going on in their head. A lot of people are struggling. Please remember that correlation isn't always causation. Some people will milk everything that they can to get by easier, so it's not ADHD specific. For example, people like "Frank" from the show "Shameless".