this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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Privacy
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My knowledge is similarly limited, but fwiw I think you're more or less correct on what you've reasoned about your first question. Regarding the second, this is going to vary for each federated service and what's involved, e.g. on Mastodon your social graph (who you follow, who follows you) may be either public or private depending on your settings.
As to whether instances have lists of subscribed communities (or channels/followed users/etc.), I think you may be right as well as this is how the All/Federated/Other servers feeds are produced. However on private messages, they are absolutely not end to end encrypted on any fediverse service that I'm aware. It's much better to call these direct messages or mentioned people only (depending on context) rather than private, as many of the services that permit this form of messaging are really doing just that, simply making a public post only visible to the mentioned or directly messaged individual.
In other words, the fediverse is not really suited to private communications unless it's explicitly described as such (e.g. end to end encrypted channels/spaces on Matrix instances), so it's still better to use services like Signal or the like for private comms.
Regarding your third question, I don't know enough on this to comment.
Hope this helps, and if I'm mistaken on any of these, please correct me as I'm also interested in learning more on this subject!