this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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Leaving aside the low hanging fruit that is my gender surgeries, the real answer is probably the covid pandemic.
I've been pretty resilient most of my life, but I kinda fell apart when covid took away all of my social connections and coping mechanisms. It was the lowest I've ever been.
Big sads, do you feel like you gained your network back? Or is it still limping since pre-Covid days? Also, if you believe in these concepts and feel like sharing - do you consider yourself more of an introvert or an extrovert?
Also as a whole, have you found that your social network differs wildly from cis individuals? By that I mean, when I came out I lost a significant chunk of my own. And in living most of what I have now is either reclaimed (reunited in time) or self-gathered (found-family).
Big love, soul sister!
I'm a raging extrovert, and aside from workmates, I don't think I have any cishet people in my regular circles.
I've got social circles again now, post covid, but they're not the same as they were before covid. The local queer community used to have lots of events, and that used to be my connection to queer folks closer to my age, but a lot of that has dried up and then restarted, but now with a younger focus. And whilst I'm happy to be the elder queer who transitioned ages ago, it's not so great for connecting with folk of my own generation.
But I still have lots of friends from then.
I used to play roller derby, and that's gone from my life now (too old to start again), but I still love my running, and I'm a parkrun regular, which brings me around lots of people every week.
Work also gives me a lot of my extrovert social outlet needs :)
Haha! I realized I forgot to see if you had responded or not. Sneaking back. Sneakily. I'm glad you got the lot back, even if the faces have changed. Queers of all ages need assistance, flowing up and down - because it's not like we work with a solid roadmap. We're just like...really, really good improvisers =P!
Yoooo, to hard - you go so damn hard! Hahaha! You're a roller-derbier? My rail thin ex would play, she got into it after that one movie with Elliot Page. Even though we're worlds apart it's comforting to know she's out there kicking people's asses (and could kick mine, if she needed). You guys are pretty much the coolest, hardest women alive. So kudos. Also on the park running. My partner just keeps moving us to more and more rural spaces. I think it's driving me batty, but I love her like business. NGL though, I keep nudging her back towards the cities. Cause mama need that social cheese! But I am thankful I've got a handful of love bugs that I hope to carry with me for the rest of my time on this planet that keep me a float with all their loving.
It's funny though, between you me (and the world I guess...hi!) I would have hands-down classified myself as an extrovert. A ravenous one as well. But to be honest, I spent the first x-odd years of my life not saying a thing. Then when I came out, people said I'd never get gals if I didn't open my mouth. And so I freakin' sang. I'm still a total cheese, but things have changed as I've gotten older. I've been thinking about classifying myself as a social introvert instead. But also, and this is the part that still kinda smarts, I've been battling a shitty-kake of thing that has really affected my energy levels. Like, you wake up and you never know what level your pain is going to be at or if your body is going to co-operate or not. And it's really affected the way I interact with others on the whole, because it takes so much more effort to reach that base "me." But before? I was a tour-de-force. Which kinda is what makes things stink. But I also have been practicing some big-time radical acceptance and haven't been peeling off my face for stuff that's outta my control you know? Like, it is what it is. And that helps with a lot of things.
But also, I guess on the cheekier side of things (muwhaha) I get some smiles over the fact that I got to live my big queerventure and have gotten to love so many fantastic people and hear their stories and share moments with them. And like, a lot of people don't even get a taste of that. So I am really thankful for that, and in that sense it really puts a smile on my face no matter what happens in the end. I mean, also I've got a gal who loves me, and is sticking with me through all this crunchy shit. So that's cool too =)!
p.s. - Big love soul sister <3~!
It takes a few years to really reinvent yourself after a major social inversion. I did okay after ~5 years even with near total isolation. Daily exercise is absolutely vital for the endorphin balance.
That was part of my trouble. I love running, and I got pneumonia (but not covid) right at the beginning of the pandemic, and it took me about a year to recover from that. On top of that, I would regularly run parkrun, and play roller derby, but they both got shut down too.
All coping mechanisms that I lost access to...
It's all back now, and even though fitness wise, I'm not back where I was, I'm getting closer every day