this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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Dating/Hangout Anxieties? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by douglasg14b@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
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Anyone else get anxiety when waiting for communication on anything soft-planned (or even hard planned for that matter)? Spiraling and all that.

Especially if the person involved is late or didn't respond. Ofc the reaction is to check in, that's what I'd want someone else to do for me if I indicated I'd do something or message someone. However, that can be interpreted as being needy or clingy when really I just want to know the plan and not be left hanging.

Life happens ofc, people gotta cancel plans, that's okay. But what really rubs things wrong is being left without information, that's when the anxiety shoots. Do you wait for them, or go do something else? If you go do something else, what happens when they're suddenly available? That's not respecting my time, so it's rude, but do you convey that?? What if you hinged your day on something, that just throws a big ass wrench in.

Everyone is living their own lives, and things happen, preventing communication. It just feels like it's more common than it used to be, or more... Negligent?

Gah.

I guess /rant really.

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[–] nnachtigal@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh boy. Another thing where I am happy to live in germany. No soft-planned things here. If there is a possible appointment (and we pretty much always do appointments to meet each other) we say yes, no, or don't know yet. Only yes classifies as planned. I know that in most other countries in the world this is not the case. I feel like germany is a very autism friendly country compared to most others when it comes to such ambiguous situations I read about online.

[–] Sternburgexport@feddit.org 2 points 3 months ago

That’s different in other countries? I couldn‘t even imagine planning any other way. What kind of soft-planning are we talking about?