Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian
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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:
Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.
That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.
Habits are things that they do without thinking.
They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.
That system...which I lack.
Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.
Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,
It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.
It never gets easier.
Just more familiar.
It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.
I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.
Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.
I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.
And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?
ON TIME?
I got the "old person" pill case with a compartment for each day. That helps more than I expected.
Do you ever forget to refill it? Like what about if you take middle of day, and you're not home? That's why I haven't bought one yet (and tbh my alarm has been good, I almost always listen to it lol)
And I've seen some cute ones! Like look like citrus fruit slices
I take my meds at home but I also bought like four of them so when I have the executive function to fill them I do it and I’m sorted for four weeks!
I've forgotten anything that can be forgotten, but for the most part, if I grab it and it's empty, I fill them all up. Oh, and I have an alarm set too. I do both. I got the case, or rather my wife got it for me, so I know if I listened to the alarm or not.
I'm going back to the pill case. Thanks for reminding me they exist.