this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

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[–] Cruxifux@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As far as I know, I’m neurotypical and stuff is still the same for me as OP. I don’t think it’s a neurotypical or not thing, I just think different people form habits differently.

[–] FringeTheory999@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Executive dysfunction is a symptom of lots of issues, you might well be neurodivergent to some degree. For me it’s Executive dysfunction. Time blindness. and a degree of face blindness. All of these things are super disruptive to my life.

[–] Mog_fanatic@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's the same for 99.999% of people. There ain't a person on the planet that exercises automatically lol. "Oh geeze I didn't even realize I just ran those 10 miles it's just such a habit I didn't even think about it."

Sure, there are certain tiny things that you form a habit with like maybe saying "you too" any time somebody says for you to "have a nice ___" which explains why sooo many people have that embarrassing moment when like a waiter drops food on your table and is like "enjoy your meal" and you say "thanks, you too!" Something like that is this person's version of a habit.

But other things like brushing your teeth or cooking dinner or exercising or picking up your kids from school or something isn't an automatic action the way it's described here for almost everyone. I'm sure there's some huge outliers out there that swear they do all these things completely unconsciously or whatever but I'd argue they are an outrageously small minority.

I think this is a combination of conflating multiple things into one generic definition of what a habit is, and then attributing that trait to the general public unanimously.

[–] Cruxifux@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

It honestly reads like an excuse to not exercise and then blame your weight problems on things that are outside of your control.

I jog a lot. It sucks every time and it’s hard to get out and do it every time. I still do it. It’s not a “turn off my brain and I’m just magically fitter” thing.

This person is looking for excuses for their weight problems it seems to me.