Autistic parent of an ADHD child here, hello! I believe that the kiddo's diagnosis immensely helped her mother get one as well. Stuff like that takes a while to sink in, but IMO, it's very liberating when you get to see a professional about your struggles & go, "oh, THAT'S what this is!" I also believe that my own diagnosis helped our child.

I actually wasn't diagnosed until I was already well into my 20's & from that POV, I couldn't be happier that offspring was diagnosed early. It's not all roses for her either, of course, but the constant blaming (self & otherwise) & crushing sense of isolation is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Ironically, due to my own upbringing, offspring's executive dysfunction can sometimes be a little challenging for me. Having been seen as dumb & lazy haunts me every day, but I'm doing my best. Our relationship is wonderful & we often laugh at neurodivergent memes together.

It's funny too, because offspring has been suspected of being on the spectrum, while I've been suspected of having an attention disorder. Unfortunately though, the quality of my care is currently such that it's impossible to be probing further.