Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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XMPP. It just works, requires very little resources, is stable and has decent clients.
I would go with Snikket instead of Prosody if I had been starting now.
Conversations on phones, Dino or Gajim on PCs, plus a conversejs install on the xmpp server, to allow web access when needed.
Conversations is easy for the family to figure out.
This is what my family (and a few friends) use. We have been using it for a while now because it just works. Also, the kids have never complained about using Conversations, or about using it only for us (like if you have that one family member who won't leave SMS behind - we're that guy, I guess), and we can make as many channels as we need for the house, the kids, with each kid individually, for our MTG cards, with our couple of friends that use it, etc…
I don't personally do the hosting, so I can't speak to that. That's the hubby's thing
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
XMPP if you are loving the 90's
IP was invented in the '70s. Sometimes older protocols that work are just fine.
Same with email.
Sick burns
Fine is a relative word
Any particular problems you're having or have you briefly used Pidgin in 2008 and think nothing has improved since then?
What's your problem with xmpp?
It is text only for the most part
It's not. Emoji reactions, stickers, audio-messages, audio/video calls are all supported by modern XMPP clients with smaller caveats depending on the client.