this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
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Anyone else hate it when products fluff themselves up with dramatically grandiose blurb? FORMED BY THE PRIMAL SEA shut the fuck up
Part of my job is to write that kind of copy. If you take it seriously, you'll drive yourself nuts.
You should start every one with "originally formed inside of an actual star" or something similar.
Wrenched from the platonic forms through seething quantum foam as the Demiurge's machinations reach fruition, our custom-made mounting clamps won't fail you like your precious god.