ADHD

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How to overcome ADHD guilt? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml to c/adhd@lemmy.world

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Often when I start feeling guilty for putting off a task (even if I genuinely didn't have time), the guilt makes it harder for me to get back to it. It's an additional emotion that I have to barge through in order to get started.

What if the person is annoyed with me for still not having replied? What if they've followed up with a strongly worded email that I'm now going to have to suffer through? And I'm going to have to come up with an excuse for taking so long. This would have been so much easier if I'd done it yesterday.

The guilt increases exponentially. How do you dispel it so that it's not in the way of actually getting to the task?
(Alcohol and sleep deprivation does not count)

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[–] null@slrpnk.net 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Tons of great advice I here.

I want to add that in addition to processing your feelings around that guilt in healthy ways, it is also a good idea to check in and see if you're doing the things that will help make managing your ADHD easier.

Things like:

Getting enough sleep
Eating healthy meals
Getting exercise

Those take work, especially when the ADHD fights back against forming habits, but they can help create a positive feedback loop.

I also recommend taking 10 minutes a day to just sit, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. If you notice your mind wandering, congratulate yourself for noticing, let the thought be, and return to your breathing.

Every time you "notice and return", that's one pushup towards building the muscle that recognizes when (especially unhealthy) patterns of though start to form. That will help you make good choices about when and how to engage with those thought patterns before they sneak up on you and start driving the bus.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I also recommend taking 10 minutes a day to just sit, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. If you notice your mind wandering, congratulate yourself for noticing, let the thought be, and return to your breathing.

That sounds like it'll be life changing when I get around to trying it out in a year and a half.

[–] null@slrpnk.net 7 points 5 months ago

In writing it out, I was very conscious of how long its been since I was doing it regularly, and how I'm absolutely going to start it again "soon".

[–] Szyler@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Start with doing it for just 30 seconds. An assisted pushup against the wall until you ate strong enough to do it for real.