this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
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Asklemmy
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Don’t get me wrong but I just don’t get all these „why do you use messenger X and not Y?“ threads that occasionally pop up. The answer is almost always „because the people I want to talk to use X“.
I use messengers to talk to specific people. Friends, family, the people I game with. It’s not like lemmy or reddit which are more about topics than about people. I can join a community about my favorite hobby on any platform and get more or less the same experience. But with messengers that doesn’t work. Matrix can be a thousand times better than Discord or XMPP but if the people I need to reach aren’t there, it’s absolutely useless to me. And convincing them to switch over with me isn’t really an option. They rightfully ask why they should get yet another messenger just for me when everyone else they want to talk to is on one they already have.
It’s almost a miracle that so many people switched from IRC to Discord when that came out but I guess they just had a bunch of features that people wanted.
Well. I do it the other way. I would not install effing whatsapp just to reach someone. I tell then once where to find me, and, if they want to know, why this is and why i prefer it and why i wouldn't install app X. If they don't, then bad luck for me. Or not.
I'm the same way. I say they can use Signal, or just SMS. Or just wait until we see each other again, if ever.
Aye. SMS still exists. And for those boomers with their facebook and WhatsApp, it's not even a new thing ☺️
Added bonus: those who do install "your" app, show a minimum in interest. You're even worth the "effort".
That's the reason I use matrix, I have bridges so that if someone messages me on ANY platform, it goes to matrix and I can respond there.
It's not the best solution, but it's worked well for me and I like having everything in one app
Is that possible without self hosting?
There's a company called Beeper that hosts a server with a bunch of bridges pre-configured.
I thought there were bridges for xmpp too, is that not true?
XMPP parlance calls it “gateways” https://xmpp.org/extensions/xep-0100.html
Yes there are. I haven't used them in years tho.
Yes, and with fresh new releases of the software.
The internet switching from irc to discord has been a catastrophe.
This is the right answer - you go where the people are.
I keep in touch with friends and family on WhatsApp, do gaming stuff on Discord and most of the Lemmy/Fediverse chat is on Matrix (partly helped by some degree of Matrix integration to provide secure messaging). I am in XMPP but no-one else I know is, so it just sits there unloved.
The question makes more sense in the context of "our friend group is deciding to move to a new communication system" Which should we choose.
We narrowed it down to xmpp, signal and matrix. Signal looked terrible to impossible to self host because the clients might make it hard to choose another server.
Matrix looks good but slow and more like irc ? Also like signal, there's few clients.
Xmpp was just more mature, more diversity of clients. But missing new things like comment retractions, comment reaction, opengraph url previews, combine image+text messages and image albums.