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How do I start same-sex dating and romance? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I've been fighting off writing this for a while now. I even considered making a throwaway for it, but I guess if its too embarrassing I can delete it.

I've sorta come to accept I'm bi in recent years, and I am wondering how I should go about dating and courtship in regards to dating within my same sex (male). Especially since I find femininity to be a key attraction point. I also haven't dated or had sex in like, three years or more. Its been a while, I kinda stopped caring for myself and focused on work, I am slowly trying to become an interesting person again, get back in shape but its hard. I dunno, man. I'm in my mid-30s and I am trying to figure out what I want out of the world. There's a bit of lust involved. And I definitely need a hug at the very least.

Furthermore, I live in the Southern part of the US, and the amount of trans hate has me actively wanting out of here (I'm aiming for Colorado) and dating in this part of the Southeast is already difficult as is, in my prior experiences.

How does one navigate this kind of world after coming out? How do I deal with the stigma especially since in the states, there's a renewed interest in putting people back in the closet?

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[–] mdd@lemm.ee 11 points 7 months ago

Big hug.

Unfortunately I cannot help directly as I'm a cis male that has lived in NYC, LA, and SF Bay Area the last 25 years.

Even in progressive locations there are establishments that are not. I suggest trying to find places you would be comfortable in. That may be a gym, coffee shop, or bar. Make conversation and get a feel for the place.

There is a local dive bar I frequent that is very LGBTQ friendly. Last night my wife and I talked to a transsexual woman (she shared this info) for almost an hour about what happens to donated body parts. She then took off to her friend's place.