You are in the wrong side of this.Theres a German doc shedding some light on this issue:

https://youtu.be/vogs4NzqI3Q (money quote around 7:07), basically "half the perpetrators of child sexual abuse do not feel an attraction to kids. On the other hand, half the people who do feel attracted to kids do not become perpetrators."

Basically, half the people abusing kids don't do so because they're attracted to kids but presumably because they're easier victims whereas half the people getting attracted to life feel disgusted by themselves.

It's, for all that we know, as congenital as being straight or queer. Now, with queer and straight preference, you don't necessarily run into consent problems. Imagine you notice yourself being attracted to, idk, 15-year-olds. You're otherwise a reasonably well adjusted human being. That's gotta be devastating. You can't help it, you were born this way. There's no redemption arc here, the only thing you can do is just never ever give in to this feeling.