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Wife's out of town for the weekend and I want to get into some debauchery, any suggestions? (lemmy.world)

submitted 8 months ago by Daft_ish@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing.

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[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 28 points 7 months ago

Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.

LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...