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What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

English is sorely lacking a second person plural. Y'all fills that gap well and should be adopted over other regional suggestions such as the Jersey youse guys or the dreaded Philly... yinz.

I'd avoid using "dude" as I've heard this specifically as an example that bothered some women.

Y'all is great. I use it often in the North East and only one schmuck ever said anything about it.

Buddy works, but comes off kind of aggressive towards strangers, same with pal or pals, but that may be my own regional affectation showing off.

[–] anarchost@lemm.ee 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

"Buddy" elicits so many conflicting feelings in me.

Encino Man "buuuuudy"

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 8 months ago

People sometimes say that English is easier to learn than Mandarin because the latter has a lot of intonation specific meaning, but there's a very clear difference between "Hey, buddy!" (jocular) that you say to a long loved friend and the "Hey, buddy!" (pejorative) you say to the guy who steals your grocery cart.

[–] anarchost@lemm.ee 3 points 8 months ago

.ca

I should have seen this coming a mile away

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago

Yeah, I'm trying to avoid dude for that very reason. I just haven't found a suitable replacement for it yet.