this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
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How to get started as a "side" on Grindr/Romeo? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 9 months ago by lemmytellyousomething@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/gay@lemmy.world
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I'm young, I'm male, I'm gay and a "side" (side = neither top nor bottom, I just don't like anal sex at all).

The question might be weird, but serious: How do I get started with non-anal sex (e.g. oral, handjobs or frotting)?

I'd like to start using Grindr or similar and meet people, but:

  • not liking anal sex eliminates what most people like to do. Are there even people on Grindr like me? Most of the profiles are like "top", "bottom", "versatile", but all with a focus on anal sex.
  • oral sex is kind of a difficult topic. Doing it without a condom with a person you've never seen before feels unsafe. Doing it with a condom feels weird.
  • When doing handjobs or frotting, at least the topic "safer sex" is pretty much gone, but it could be difficult to find people for that.
  • should I try to get something like PrEP? Is it even worth it in my situation when I'm at "step zero"?

Anyone here with a similar situation or with tips for me?

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[–] Microw@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago

Make it clear in your bio that you are looking for handjobs and oral, not for anal. Some ppl will probably not read that properly, but it should help to give most a good idea of what you are after.