At what age are you supposed to know what you want for the rest of your life? You will never have an answer to that in any capacity, and not just in marriage. You evolve as a person, you'll never have a fixed desire for your whole life. And that's the great thing about marriage and relationships, they also evolve. And it's about who you want to try doing that with

[–] dudinax@programming.dev 2 points 9 months ago

You evolve all the time, but you might have some desires that are fixed for your whole life and you might realize it before you're an adult.

[–] InfiniWheel@lemmy.one 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I feel like it might come from the fact most relationships are pretty short before you are 24. Few people hold onto long lasting relationships by that age and few (at the time) short ones develop into anything reliable.

A former classmate of mine met a guy and got married after knowing him almost a year, like right out of highschool. Last I heard of her they went through a messy divorce couple of years later, which we all saw coming and tried telling her about.

[–] dlrht@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago

That sounds more like an issue with that person not being open/receptive to her peers advice. And I think this is true for many people beyond the age of 24 as well

[–] Xttweaponttx@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

Wow, well said!

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

At what age are you supposed to know what you want for the rest of your life?

Maybe around the year that the brain finishes developing, which can vary from person to person but is typically around the mid 20s.

[–] dlrht@lemm.ee 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I see/hear about marriages started at 30+ 40+ 50+ all the time that fail. I see people pivot careers and industries in the middle years of their life. People tastes change all the time as they get older. Let's not pretend that when your brain finishes developing you suddenly have life figured out/know exactly what you want

I generally agree that getting married before 24 is a pretty risky move and you have to have thought it through very carefully, but the argument that "you don't know what you want for the rest of your life" is not the reason why that is. It relates more to life experience/emotional capability/massive foresight. Marriage is more than just "wanting something for the rest of your life", it's a commitment, it's not just some eternal desire you may/may not have