They're the worst when diced, especially in something like stir fry. Your chewing your rice/veggie similar consistency mix then all the sudden you get either a crunchy flake (for uncooked onions) or a tiny piece of wet paper (for cooked).

I realize this rant is childish, but my sensory issues make this a big deal for me and I need to put my foot down.. even if it causes my heel to light up.

You don't understand. It needs to be POWDER for me to enjoy something with onions in it