So about 2 years ago, I moved away. Broken spirit broken person, over 3000 miles. However, yesterday I landed for my first visit back here. And I just feel weird. Like I'm not supposed to be here or something, it's very ominous. I constantly feel anxious.

The weirdest thing was seeing how my parents have started to age. And the woods where I used to hang out are all housing developments now. I'm currently sleeping on a mattress in my old room, aka the office now, surrounded by random shelving and printers and stuff. it's really a weird feeling in here too.

I don't know what I expected but I definitely don't feel like I'm "home". It's like some weird alternate dimension version of home. There's still some people I'm yet to see and I wonder how that's gonna go. So far everything already feels uncomfortably different. Alongside that, the rose tint has also come off and I have a lot of bad memories going through my head too instead of any sort of nostalgia. Almost like the different person I was back then is still lurking here somewhere watching me.

Anyone familiar with such a feeling, after being away for so long?

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[–] FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yep. Grew up around a lot of rural emptiness. luckily there is a reserve not too far away so there will always be some of that feeling, which I'm thankful for. Sorry to hear about your home town situation.

[–] UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 months ago

Thanks but it probably made it easier. I just don't think of it as home anymore.

I have more nostalgia for my first couple of places after moving away from home. It kinda just keep rolling forward like that. Now I've got old homes all over the country