Capitalism: Nah bro. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work. Are you lazy and don't want to work anymore? Be loyal to your company and work for them for 60 years. Your hard work will reap you many rewards so that your CEO can buy a new yacht.

Reaganism enters the chat

Reaganism: Oh hell yeah we're about to trickle down some wealth, everyone! My newfound wealth and yacht will trickle down to you all, somehow potentially. So that's your benefit. Trust us! Check out the next comment to this post and get ready for that economic stimulus that you paid for! It's coming!

Inexorable machinery of capitalism whirs into the chat

Machinery of Capitalism: Hey, working class! Give us more blood so our gears can continue to whir.

Working Class feebly crawls into the chat

Working Class: We're too tired from work. We're too tired fighting with each other because the Wealthy Class pits us against each other. We're too tired and distracted to unite because we think the others in the working class are against us rather than focusing on the real problem. We are too manipulated by you and believe we're in a culture war, when the real problem is the inexorable class war where you transfer all the wealth from us to you. We just want to have freedom, pay our bills without worry, not destroy our planet, and retire while being happy. We just want to be able to afford to eat. If you keep this up and break us to the point of no return, we just may have to eat the rich.

Capitalism: Gulp! Let's think of something new we can distract you with or some other corporation/wealthy controversial person we can exploit to manipulate you all into being divided again. We summon Ron DeSantis! I choose you, Vladimir Putin! Use "War on Ukraine" - it's super effective! Ron DeSantis, use "scummy villain civil rights" Special Move! It's Super Effective! Now stand still while we take away your rights, your money, your choice, and your autonomy.

Working Class: ... Okay, you win again. You're right - as a farmer, I definitely see that the hunters are trying to take away my pitchforks. The butchers are trying to steal my chickens. Farmers - unite! Let's kill those hunters and butchers.

Machinery of Capitalism, smiling and satisfied, continues to do parasite things while the Rich riches their riches harder

Repeat this cycle for all of time and humanity's history *

[–] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Wealthy Class: Oh heck yeah I'm about to trickle down some wealth to you all! Everybody hold out their hands.

Proceeds to trickle a small handout only to the Butchers

Butchers: Thank you!! This is so generous!

Farmers + Hunters: WTF?! How come you Butchers got the money? Let's go complain to the Wealthy Class and figure out what happened!

Wealthy Class: WTF? How can this be? Butchers - explain yourself!

Butchers: We worked hard for this and we need this money.

Farmers + Hunters: Hey, screw you! How can you be so greedy when we need the money, too? Let's fight!

Butchers: Them's fighting words. You guys suck, why can't you work harder?

Farmers, Hunters, and Butchers proceed to rassle

Wealthy Class: