this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024
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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 77 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (8 children)

Even if you are not religious (I'm not) we really need a Bible tv show. But it has to be 100% accurate, no cuting corners, at most they could modernize the language, but it has to have 100% of dialogues there. It would be amazing

[–] dojan@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Cocks of horses and donkey cummies and all that.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Specially that, everything the relihious freaks would get mad about, but they can't because bible.

[–] Aremel@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Especially if ones 'accurate' and doesn't use white people?

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Yes, all white evangelical people of the midle east! Even before the birth of jesus lol Moses will be "Here are the 10 commandments Praised be Jesus!"

[–] Aremel@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago
[–] Jimbo@yiffit.net 6 points 10 months ago

Who doesn't want donkey cummies 💨💦💦

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

100% accurate to which version? King James version? The Latin that was translated from? The Greek that was translated from? The original (I think) Hebrew?

[–] ringwraithfish@startrek.website 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And you've just summed up all religious conflicts.

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Keeping the same language so no mistranslation is no barrier for religious wars. Shia and Sunni do fine despite both having the Koran in original Arabic.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 12 points 10 months ago

Unless you are cramming the whole book into a single episode or movie the religious weirdos will just cherry pick the episodes they like, as they do with the book now.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I'd settle for a Bible written in plain, modern English. The closest I could find was Word on the Street but it was a white guy trying to write like a gangsta and it fell a bit flat.

[–] CannedTuna@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

NIV doesn’t work for you?

There’s a newer translation called the EHV that I believe is supposed to be more understandable and plain English. Might try that.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm looking more for a complete modern overhaul, not a line-by-line modern translation. Like a novel. I still use the KJV in church so I get exposed to the original scripture but it's often very difficult to actually grasp what's going on.

This is what he sent me.

I just messaged my discord friend who's an ordained minister. I'll let you know what he says.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 2 points 10 months ago

The Message is a pretty good modern translation

[–] wiikifox@pawb.social 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] optissima@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 10 months ago

There's "The Message" which is a modern, idiomatic translation of the bible. I remember looking at it ~20 years ago and it being a modern translation, but I didn't like the translation even at 11yo.

[–] wiikifox@pawb.social 1 points 10 months ago

It's still a good translation, and faithful to the original text

[–] Mr_Fish@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

That would be insanely hard to do accurately. There's some repeated stories (kings/chronicles or Matthew/Mark/Luke/John), there's stuff that isn't a story at all (Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, song of songs), and most of the new testament is letters.

[–] Emi621@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The first thing that comes to mind is good omens but I don't if it's accurate.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

It's close enough.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Not exactly what you're thinking, but Moral Orel dabbled in this. It was made by the guy you probably know as Starburns from Community. ~~who provides the voice of Mickey Mouse, but you might know him better as the guy from the "this guy fucks" meme.~~

Edited because I confused two Greeks.

[–] 5C5C5C@programming.dev 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry to have to tell you that Chris Diamantopoulos and Dino Stamatopoulos are two different people despite how incredibly similar their names are. And by "similar" I guess I mean "Greek".

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Oh no, my life is a lie. It was Starburns the whole time!

My bad.

Point stands, Moral Orel is great.

[–] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

I want to see this done like an episode of Judge Judy, but it's some bored king as judge.