this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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I’m in a men’s group where we act as that for each other, and the married ones’ wives love it because they don’t have to be the sole support system for their husbands any more.
Men are so closed off it’s horrible. I do sales and have so many customers and I can just see the loneliness in their eyes, their mannerisms. They continually consider their own needs and feelings to be rounding errors, like I was doing before this group.
I didn’t realize how deeply my sense of self had been crippled by our culture. I’ve never been in a more warm and supportive place than that group.
Just for curiosity's sake, how did that men's group came to be? And, hypothetically speaking, are you accepting new members?
I don’t know how it came to be. It’s got multiple chapters. Ours is full but others like it are accepting all the time. I just found it by googling for men’s groups, and searching on meetup.
I remembered feeling envious when my girlfriend told me she had joined a women-only yoga thing. I was complaining about how men never get to kick the women out any more and have men-only time. She encouraged me to look again and see if I could find something.
Honestly I expected any group found like that would be toxic and just seeking to radicalise lonely men, but it's heartening to hear I'm wrong
Lol ya dingus
?
What part of that is confusing for you?
The part where you quoted a sentence I said then called me a dingus. What’s the connection?
The thing you said makes you a dingus, it's really not that complicated.
As a woman, I really feel bad for men in our society, especially straight men. They get very little positive interaction at all. I like to compliment strangers; it usually makes my day when somebody says, "I like your hair," or whatever, and I like to spread the joy. But I have to be cautious about giving compliments to men. A lot of them look at me weirdly if I say, "nice tie," or "snazzy shirt." I smile, say it, then move on so they don't feel obligated to respond. It appears most of them aren't used to it and don't know how to handle it. I guess other men don't compliment them (maybe for fear of being thought gay?) and women don't, either (for fear of encouraging stalking or harassing behavior). It makes me sad to think of all the lonely people who get no affirmation from anybody. I'm old enough now that my days of being constantly sexually harassed are over, so I feel safe offering a few nice words.
Gay men, OTOH, totally know how to give and take a compliment.
You act as... Each other's girlfriends? j/k of course.
What's the name of the group?
MBEOG
It stands for Men Being Each Other's Girlfriends