Nah, I don't think that's common. A lot of men swipe right on every woman, get a match with something like 1% of those, get a chat response with 0.1%, arrange a date with 0.01%, and have 100% back out of the date. At least that was my experience for a couple months of using dating apps, lol.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That is true, but only if you're looking for a relationship. Yes, women are picky when it comes to relationships (well, men as well, now that I think about it). If you're honest upfront and just state that you're not looking for something serious, just fun, trust me, women are a lot more open to those one night stands than relationships. Why? There are no strings attached. She gets off, you get off, hell, you don't even have to buy her dinner or anything, just go over to her place or a motel, whatever, and just have a few drinks, smoke some weed, whatever, to get in the mood. After that, you/she leaves and that's that. The idea is that there are no strings attached from the start, and that's what's attracting about this scneario. You don't put too much effort into it. After that, she can go about her dating as if nothing happened. You bump into her at the store, you pretend you don't know her... she gives you scared look maybe, like "please, I'm with my bf here, don't ruin it 😬" and of course, you don't. Why? Cuz she might break up with him and give you another booty call. Plus, it's not fair, she was just trying to blow off some steam, so were you, what's done is done, no need for everyone to know that.

Oh, and don't mingle with married women... unless they're some cockold couple or something like that. In any other case, married women are off the table. They usually have jelous/controlling husbands and you're just asking for trouble fixing up a hookup with that woman. Always ask upfront if she's married. She might lie, but hell, at least you asked and if you ever get that late night call from her hubby, you can always say that - I asked, she said she wasn't married 🤷. If she's married, drop her. That's litelarly the only time you say no to a woman wanting a hookup.

The upper paragraph is for single men only. If you're married, the ONLY women you actually want to hook up with are married ones. Why? She's got as much to loose as you do if she decides to reveal the affair... so you both keep quiet.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hmm yeah I'm pretty good looking and can't swing this kind of thing. Back to the gym I guess.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, I get it... some people are just not witty or funny enough, or maybe pick their sexual partners... that's cool as well 👍 😉.

But trust me, if you're witty, funny and can strike an interesting conversation, even if it is just for a hookup, she will call you back. Of course, be good in bed, that also counts, but even if you're not that good, she might still like just to hang out with you, and who knows, maybe at the end of the evening, you hook up again 🤷.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am very good in bed. I have terrible self-esteem issues, so if there was any doubt there I would think I was the worst lover in history. And people definitely find me witty and funny. I'm just shit at reading people, I would tend to assume people aren't interested rather than the opposite. I am getting laid at the moment so I shouldn't complain too much, but I've always struggled between (admittedly very attractive) partners. It's very annoying.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm just shit at reading people, I would tend to assume people aren't interested rather than the opposite.

Yeah, have made that mistake myself as well. I was born with that part or my brain lobotomized as well, but I learned to compensate for it over time. Like I'm also naturally (I would say I have a gift for it) am good in bed (always take care of my partner's needs and wants, easily adjustable to whatever she wants, can read body languange easily, can go on for a long time, but this primarily because I like to edge 😁, though I don't share that with hookups 😂), so that kinda strikes them as "wooow, he doesn't look like it, but this guy is reeeally good". And I really am nothing to look at, like I have a beer belly (not too big though), beard, long hair, body hair, not that good looking (not ugly either)... you could say I look kinda like a biker dude, but the conversations, being funny, making jokes left and right, yeah, that catches their attention.

And yes, I forgot to mention that part as well, selfasteem. Really important 👍. Act like you're a million bucks even if you aren't. She says she's not into guys with high selfasteem? Trust me, she's lying... or she's one of the few that finds that repulsive in a male, but those kinds of women are weird, so I wouldn't want her anyway. In either case, you should defininitely make a strong appearance. Not too strong though, like a chad, cuz that can be repulsive, I admit, even for males. But, a good dose, yeah, just enough for everyone to be comfortable with you and get her interested.