this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
154 points (93.3% liked)
Asklemmy
43938 readers
426 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
When they mention that someone else is attractive. This is often seen as a red flag by people with insecurities but really it means your partner trusts you enough to actually mention such attractions. The state some insecure people want is that their partner is never attracted to anyone else but that is completely unrealistic. So the actual choice is between honesty and lies. And you do not want your partner to have to constantly watch every word they utter around you to coddle your insecurities as that will likely lead to worse communication between you in general. This goes for other topics as well of course but jealousy inducing ones are very common.
My fiancee and I always point out good looking/hot people to each other. No trust issues, we're both with each other because we want to. Nothing forcing us to stay together.
My parents both do this, but they're bisexual swingers... So the moral of the story is that there can be many reasons for doing things